Passive-aggressive behavior is one of the most problematic. Whether we are presenting it or someone close to us, this way of acting prevents or assumes a significant obstacle to the relationship with others.
Therefore, learning how to handle passive-aggressive behaviors is critical, in this article you will first learn how to recognize this way of doing things, then you will discover several keys that will help you deal with them. By behaving in this way, you can understand what is happening and how to act accordingly.
- We all know how to recognize an aggressive person.
- In general.
- It is the one who usually uses the attack as an instrument or means of interaction.
- Aggression can be physical.
- But also verbal; can be direct.
- But also camouflaged.
- On the other hand.
- Aggression can occur for several reasons.
- Such as anger.
- Stress.
- Or anxiety.
Understanding this, we can say that a passive-aggressive person would not be able to deal with something that he does not like directly, however, it could not contain all his discomfort either, so someone like this usually combines moments of self-control with moments of uncontrollability, often confusing the people around him, if it is a discontent, the person can manifest him by discontinuous and aggressive behaviors that show discomfort.
The problem is that this is very ineffective in problem solving, so learning how to handle passive-aggressive behavior is critical to avoiding unnecessary conflicts.
For example, a person with this style of behavior will never say that they are upset, but will use indirect behavior to show their displeasure, such as not talking to the aggressor or making sarcastic comments for no reason. It would not help if the person’s intention was to resolve the conflict, however, in general, this is not what is sought, but simply to show dissatisfaction with a situation.
Below are two tips for handling this type of behavior the next time you meet it. When you master them, you’ll find that passive-aggressive people no longer have power over you.
The most effective way to manage passive-aggressive behavior is to ignore its manifestations, if it is not feasible not to strengthen them (or strengthen alternatives), the person who does so basically seeks attention. Therefore, if you realize that your behavior doesn’t affect you and you won’t consider it in any way, you can start talking more directly.
In psychology we would say that what we are looking for is the extinction of behaviors. Going back to the above idea, passive-aggressive, making sarcastic comments or “leaving someone in the void”, can get a boost of their behavior.
As we have said, this reinforcement, from an external point of view, may not seem like a reinforcement; after all, no one would think that a rebuke or discussion could reinforce behavior; However, this is the case if the other person has no other means of attracting attention in their behavioral repertoire, so in these cases it is very important to do some pedagogical work.
Assertiveness is very fashionable these days; but the truth is that it is very useful to solve various problems and unpleasant situations. In the case of passive-aggressive behavior, it can become one of your greatest allies.
So, the next time you meet someone who does this, ask them directly what’s happening to them. The key to this approach is to stay calm in the discussion that will likely follow. When a passive-aggressive person is questioned in this way, will he?Do you tend to “attack” and show what’s bothering you.
Thus, with the cards on the table, it will be easier to resolve a conflict that would otherwise be dormant, like this stone in your shoe, would continue to cause discomfort without you being able to understand why the other was behaving like this.
In this way, by provoking your speech, you get valuable information to resolve the conflict, in addition to completing the pedagogical work mentioned above, the other will know, through you, that there is another way to control anger, sadness or stress.