Walter Riso’s latest book is titled “I’ve said good-bye, now how can I forget it. “Like all his works, this promises to be a success. This psychologist had already written on various topics, but not on the relationship. with an ex and loves. For him, this void is curious, because in his practice he often hangs out with people who struggle to cope with the end of a relationship.
It is true that today many romantic relationships are ephemeral, but it is also true that there are many people who live exactly the opposite: they remain attached for a long time to already broken ties, not only that, sometimes they become so obsessed that they arrive You can stay months or even years, depending on what you do or stop doing your ex, or looking for it with any excuse , or simply insulting him in his loneliness.
“The best remedy for repairing a broken heart is time. “Gwyneth Paltrow?
Walter Riso commented that he had a patient who swore that he had forgotten about his ex, however, he slept every night with a teddy bear that he had given him, with such a simple gesture he prolonged the agony of the end and closed all roads possible ways to move forward in your love life.
Because many people find it hard to forget, Walter Riso points out that the key word is “hope. “At first, having hope is positive because it encourages action and persevere. But when it comes to short love, this great virtue can become your worst enemy.
As long as there is hope, it will be impossible to disconnect from that person, or from the memory of that person who has already left, the pain of loss can distort romantic perceptions, and it is at this point that the facts begin to realize. interpreted according to desire and not its actual meaning. Hope works together to maintain and oversize these misconceptions.
The thing is that this hope can be maintained even if there are already clear manifestations of disinterest on the part of the ex-partner, basically what happens is that loss is not accepted, so, as we do not admit, hope comes into play. the role of a smokescreen so as not to face reality.
Walter Riso introduces the concept of “emotional forgetfulness” to differentiate you from cognitive forgetfulness. Emotional forgetfulness occurs when a person’s memory or situation no longer causes intense feelings. On the other hand, cognitive forgetfulness is the inability to remember what the facts themselves are like. Happened.
For a person to break up with their ex permanently, an emotional oversight must occur How can this happen?According to Walter Riso, the best way to achieve this is to break the chains of thought that unra up this past, if something reminds you of that person arresting him. If you don’t, a set of related thoughts and feelings will be triggered that will always get you to the same point: the inability to forget.
Currently, this process of emotional forgetfulness includes the removal of this person from Facebook, WhatsApp or any social network, these spaces have been specially designed to follow the lives of others and if you want to forget nothing worse than keeping those windows open.
For Walter Riso, dignity is an expression of self-respect, and after a love story, the preservation of dignity is a crucial factor in overcoming the situation. sense of disadvantage, but it’s also totally ineffective.
If the other one’s over, but you insist, what you’ll soon unraat is a deliberate malaise. Nobody likes someone who doesn’t love each other. It’s hard to respect those who don’t respect each other, you can choose the most disguised ways to chase your ex, but that person will always notice and, over time, try to get further and further away.
Then you’ll walk behind him, thinking his steps bring you closer, when all they do is make you feel even more lost the day that that mirage of hope finally disappears.
Walter Riso says the process follows the sequence: self-control, resignation and creation of new goals and expectations, when you can stop the obsession, accept loss and focus on finding new motivations, that’s when your life will change and your feelings will change. After passing this difficult test, instead of suffering a?Post-traumatic stress? what you’re going to achieve is “post-traumatic growth. “In that sense, it will have been worth it.
Images courtesy of Kyle Mckharty, Margarita Kareva.