How many times have you looked at yourself and noticed every inch of imperfection in yourself, each?And how many times have you felt immensely alone in your fragility, looking at your reliquary of small and great flaws, ruminating them as if you almost worshipped them. “And in spite of all this” I didn’t want it to be imperfect.
He rarely exposed his shadows sincerely. After all, a society of perfect and unwavering people is preached: sculptural bodies, absolute correction in good manners, a metheoric career at an early age, diplomas and certificates, mastery of 4 languages, the latest devices and consumer goods, cold emotions, connections with Hollywood. in enviable garden houses, families of impeccable margarines with exemplary parents and children, impeccable sanity, annual luxury trips to Europe, forced and cold detachment of those who do not care about interpersonal relationships and abandon them without moving their hearts.
- Yes.
- We live the capitalist.
- Consumerist.
- Liquid.
- Instagram.
- Photoshopped and facebook society.
- With color filters on the photos and blindness in the eyes (physical and soul).
And we have tried, unsuccessfully, to adapt and fit into this unrealistic model of success and perfection that bombards us from all sides, under the pressure of external expectations and demands.
And we don’t notice. That the real revolution and the relief of our anxieties is precisely to be a rebel in the system: it is to show and accept our mistakes, our fragile existences, is the sharing of this inherently imperfect humanity that unsofies us, is It has so much warmth and empathy for others that it does not mind being vulnerable and showing others that they are not alone or misunderstood.
Human beings need to feel welcome, belong. And for that you have to identify with your peers, be understood, accepted. How will each of us feel welcome and belong to this perfect, impassive, immaculate and uncompromising world with mistakes and defeats?That’s why we insist on adapting to this inaccessible model. And we all enter and remain and suffer in this vicious and suffering-ingrating cycle, which most of the time serves, at best, greater Machiavellian interest in an industry, and almost nothing goes to our serenity and our development as an individual and as a humanity. .
Social media, which has a positive and added side, is often just our showcase of cotton realities, inaccessible by the storms and rays of our real life, an attempt to demonstrate to everyone (and ourselves) the illusory feeling that we are on the golden path of perfection.
In interpersonal relationships, especially in sentimental relationships, this (go) reality is amplified in a thousand, we reproduce this criticality, choosing appearances to the millimeter, extending to the slightest sign of obstacle, at the slightest aversion we remove, disappear, exchange.
As if all this were not enough, there is the myth of sensitivity, emotion and vulnerability to the cartel as weaknesses incompatible with survival and success in our society. As for women, greater emotionality is considered hysteria; as for men, it is considered contrary to manly manhood.
And in all this error taught and reinforced throughout life, it is not that we feel alone, not this healthy loneliness, but the loneliness of helplessness and misunderstanding, that we are stateless in an irreproachable nation. It is not surprising that the evils of our generation are depression and anxiety: it is the pain and guilt of what we have done in the past (since we are not educated to see mistakes and failures as normal) or the anguish of wanting to avoid future failures and defeats by controlling what remains to come.
I can testify to myself. I have lived moments of great melancholy (and I still live sometimes) so as not to forgive myself and blame myself for so many things that already belong to the immutable years I suffered anxiety attacks because I wanted to perfectly dominate the agenda of a banal weekend. . I cried feeling immense loneliness, being the cruellest judge of my mistakes, of my body, of my way, of my personality. I have had many migraine attacks triggered by harmless suffering from past failures or fear of future failures.
That is why inner reconciliation is first and foremost important: we ourselves welcome our wounded inner child, showing him that he deserves our unconditional love despite shadows and failures, without waiting for the approval of an outside world that will try to convince us otherwise. a self-love therapy, with daily supervision, because it is easy to return to the functioning that we were taught and that is rooted, but it is step by step, every day, in a detox in this toxic way of existing. .
And secondly, we give that compassionate gaze to others, without realizing, on several occasions, immersed in this attempt to adapt to the usual standards, when we see disruptive and insurgent beings, which go against the majority, our first attitude is to judge. : to realize that the one who is judged by so many external criticisms is one more to add as harsh criticism of others, it is almost as if the other, the rebel, wants to delegitimate a model that we are trying (so hard and with sacrifices) to adapt, and we cannot admit that someone is trying to destroy the standard that we strive to achieve every day.
Then understand right away, my dear “little human being”: in this society of the perfect and without emotions, to show your vulnerabilities is to give others the opportunity to show yours, that is, “everything is fine”, even with our inaccuracies. It’s giving the other the permission to be imperfect, more, to be himself. It’s a gift, it’s giving a release permit for the fragility of others (and yours too).