When a couple separates, the separation process is not usually pleasant, however, some people manage to continue, while others rumin for months and years after a breakup, in such a way that they reduce their chances of finding new relationships. ? The change of mindset.
After a breakup, you may feel hurt, upset, betrayed, or scared at the thought of being alone. You can also obsess over your ex-partner and be jealous of the person you’re dating now. You may feel inadequate, unreactive, and believing. you’re not kind
- This.
- Which seems so sad and pathetic.
- Is normal.
- In fact.
- Research shows that terms lead us to see ourselves and others in a more negative way.
- It is also more unlikely that we will start a new relationship and.
- If we succeed.
- Increase the chances of an unhealthy relationship.
A group of researchers from Stanford University analyzed the effects of our personal stories related to emotional collapse and its relationship to psychological distress and our ability to adapt to the situation.
After the breakup, most people try to make sense of what happened by wondering why it happened, whether it was your fault, or what the chances are of finding a new love in the future. . How answering these questions can help us cope or become vulnerable to psychological harm.
According to the researchers, we see others as sources of information about ourselves. Therefore, the rejection of someone we think we know well can be especially devastating.
However, people have different opinions about how we can grow and change, people who see their personality and attributes as fixed and immutable, that is, with a fixed mindset, are more likely to attribute the breakup to the negative aspects of themselves. we tell ourselves about the breakout highlighting our own shortcomings.
On the other hand, people who see their personality traits as mutants and who have a growth mindset are more likely to create less harmful stories in the end. In this way, they could see it better as an opportunity for growth and hope to have a better relationship at the next opportunity.
In several studies, researchers found that participants with a fixed mental state were more likely to attribute collapse to their toxic personality and certain negative attributes that would remain a problem in future relationships.
To overcome a break in a healthy way, it is important to change attitudes and evolve towards a growth mindset. To make the change, you can do the following:
In all kinds of relationships, everyone involved has some responsibility for the problems that arise. In romantic relationships, it’s exactly the same. Take your share of the blame, but don’t present yourself as a victim.
Carrying more responsibilities than you have will not be good for you and will not solve anything; What’s worse, it will damage your image of yourself and make it harder for you to maintain healthy relationships in the future.
Many personal factors can trigger a love conflict that ends in an end, some are transient, other times the problem comes from external problems, the important thing is to know what has failed and how this can be avoided or changed in the future. don’t favor relationships.
Despite the pain you feel from the breakup, remember that you’re not the only one who has ended a romantic relationship, you’re not the one who was left or deceived or the one who had to end. As much pain as you feel, you can also overcome it, as so many others have done.
You learn a lot with an ending, but don’t get carried away with the negative things, this relationship has also brought you many good things, don’t focus only on the negative, because if you focus on that you will be overwhelmed by pessimism and fear, which will hinder their future relationships.
Regardless of how this has been provoked, after an end there is always hope, not to regain the relationship, but not to surrender to this bitter end, in life there are cycles and love is always one of them. so being tied to them once the relationship is over will only increase your feeling of suffocation. As the captivating Dory would say: keep swimming, keep swimming?