Thinking badly about others is a habit that is mainly derived from prejudice. The worst part is that it is the behavior that usually carrys the seed of its own confirmation. This means that the expectation that others will hurt or hurt us will eventually come true through the work of those who believe so.
People who are accustomed to thinking badly of others have often had unexpected and negative experiences in the past, the problem is not these experiences in themselves, but their lack of elaboration, they have marked and awakened this distortion that unfortunately becomes the object of new evils.
- Be disappointed with other causes of suffering.
- The fact that the other has let you down is a painful and not easy experience to overcome.
- Mainly because it often represents a betrayal of trust.
- A lie.
- Or a significant contempt; however.
- It is up to everyone to work in this pain or let it continue forever.
“The one who suspects invites to be betrayed. ” -Voltaire-
The habit of thinking badly of others is a way to anticipate possible evils. We start from the idea that if we are not careful, we will be betrayed. Or that if we don’t attack, they’ll attack us. Sometimes we also do evil so as not to suffer it or, in any case, we expect the worst of the other because we don’t want to be taken by surprise.
The consequence is that we end up creating superfluous and defensive links with others, whether they deserve it or not, in this way we deprive ourselves of the joy we feel when showing ourselves how we are, without shields or calculations. We cannot feel the happiness that comes from establishing an intimate bond with someone.
Worse, we end up encouraging others, one way or another, to conform to our negative expectation of them. A suspicious person generates mistrust, as well as estating. It also causes negative thoughts about it. The result is a tense and full of reserves.
If you stop in front of a dog and show a lot of fear, it is quite possible that it attacks you, since the animal interprets its fear in preparation for combat, subject to adequate proportions, this can also occur in humans.
A person who is accustomed to thinking badly of others suffers, even if he does not admit it, this habit impoverishes his life and helps to keep alive at all times the disappointments of the past, he may also develop harmful behaviors towards others because of his defensive attitude.
Suffering that is not seen, addressed and elaborated ends up becoming an axis of life, no one suspects others for no reason. There is a great disappointment behind this attitude, and that disappointment often comes from someone who is deeply loved or dependent on.
His rejection, abandonment or harm occurred unexpectedly, that’s exactly what marks the most: the fact that you trusted someone and then you see that trust has been betrayed, anyone who has been the victim of such a situation blames himself and swears he will. never let yourself be fooled in the same way again.
We all make mistakes with us at all times, just as we make mistakes. No one spends their whole lives without causing some kind of disappointment to someone else. We human beings are not angels or demons, we make mistakes often, and sometimes some people get hurt. because of those mistakes.
Fighting with all humanity does not make things easier, quite the opposite, it makes disappointment the center of life and makes us prisoners, the solution is not to weaken all our defenses and trust the whole world overnight, it is a matter of returning to those facts that have left such a deep mark on us.
Without forgiving others, it is important to be at peace with ourselves. If we trust and deceive ourselves or are disappointed, it has more to do with the person who did it than with us. This person was wrong, because we did the right thing: trust.