We live surrounded by very different people in our day to day, so we must live with people who do not understand us or do not take us seriously, in these conditions, right?It is easy for fights to happen with some frequency, of course, ideally not to argue with others, but if we can’t avoid them, it will be very helpful to learn how to avoid the most common mistakes during the discussion.
In general, when we get into a verbal fight we tend to make the same mistakes over and over again, these failures make discussions unpleasant and make consensus difficult, so in this article we will look at some of the most common mistakes as well. as some strategies not to commit them.
- Every discussion is a world.
- However.
- Some of the mistakes we make are repeated.
- Of the most common mistakes we can make during the discussion.
- The three most important are:.
Let’s look at each one of them
On many occasions, discussions do not focus on situations/circumstances/facts in which we are directly involved, on the contrary, we tend to fight on controversial topics on which we could easily share views, some of the most common are religion, politics or social problems, such as feminism or homosexuality.
If we think coldly, there’s no point in being angry because there are different opinions. However, this is what ends up happening in most fights. The temptation to convince others that you’re making a mistake can be overwhelming. The problem arises when we fall into this temptation. So instead of achieving our goal, we get angry.
Why did this happen? According to certain psychological currents, thanks to an misunderstood ego we identify with our beliefs, that is, if someone refutes an idea that is important to us, we feel that we have been personally attacked, this is one of the most common mistakes in discussions, and that causes the most unnecessary misunderstandings and tensions.
To avoid this, the ideal is to remember that if the disagreement is respectable, disrespect is not, in this sense we can use assertiveness to show the other person that having different opinions does not have to be negative.
“I don’t share your ideas, but I would die to defend your right to express them” – Evelyn Beatrice Hall-
Another of the most common mistakes in the discussion is to see verbal disagreements as a battle, when we enter that mindset, we see these situations as if we were going to emerge victorious, is it as if our ideas should be stronger?That our rival’s. . In this way, we would force him to yield to our superiority.
It is easy to see how this way of thinking can get us into trouble, on the one hand, our relationship with the other person will be damaged, on the other hand, in most cases, our opinions are just that: opinions, even in cases where we are really right, it will be very difficult to convince the other of that. After all, if a person thinks a certain way it’s because they have a good reason to do so.
It is often much more productive trying to understand where the other person’s opinion is coming from. Even in situations where the other person’s ideas seem offensive, we can learn a lot by just listening to what they have to say. This, of course, does not mean that we cannot defend our own ideas, however, there is no point in trying to convince others at the cost of our well-being and peace of mind.
The last of the most common mistakes when discussing what we will discuss occurs when we start to see the world divided into black and white. For us, the issue we’re discussing is clear. There is only truth and all other opinions are completely false.
However, the other person also believes that their ideas are true How can this happen?Is he completely incapable of seeing reality or is there anything else?What often happens is that the topics we are discussing are quite complex, so almost all opinions have a real part, a solid pillar on which they are based.
When you remember that you don’t have the absolute truth, the intensity of the discussions decreases in most cases, of course, it’s always good to trust our own opinions, but it’s necessary to do it humbly, always remembering that we have flaws and that we can also make mistakes.
As you can see, these three errors in the discussion arose from the need to stand above others, there are many other ways to turn an exchange of opinions into battle, however, most of them are resolved when we respect each other. If it is important for you to discuss in a healthier way, the best way to do so is to remember that the other person is not your enemy.