What is a decision?
These questions were asked by a wonderful friend.
- I just remember what it was.
- Fell in love in a sick and toxic way.
- And the disease resumed for the rest of his life.
- Sarcasm.
- Irony.
- Manipulation ended self-esteem and the ability to make decisions.
- Of course.
- At first.
- We got involved in a toxic relationship out of love.
After a while, having low self-esteem, seeing yourself as the savior of the other, taking on the role of victim, demonstrating the need to be with the other at all times, fulfilling a social role or fear of moving forward, are reasons that justify these toxic but sometimes indissoluble relationships. In a toxic relationship, one or both people experience suffering that goes beyond the happiness and pleasure they can experience when they are together.
One (and sometimes both) members are subject to excessive wear and tear in an attempt to maintain the relationship.
Both can exhibit these characteristics and suffer permanent tantrums; the toxic person lends himself to awakening feelings in the other, feelings of guilt for what happened, constantly monitoring what the other person is doing, because he cannot afford to have the opportunity to discover that he is immersed in an unhealthy relationship, and makes use of mistrust, betrayal and contempt.
Paulo Coelho, notes in an excerpt from his book “Eleven Minutes”
“Throughout my life, I understood love as a kind of consensual slavery, but it is not. Freedom exists only when love exists. “
He who gives up completely, who feels free, loves more and the one who loves to the fullest, feels free. However, in love, each of us is responsible for how we feel and cannot blame the other.
No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone
And that is the true experience of freedom: owning the most important thing in the world without possessing it.
Those were my answers to your questions. The decision to be free depends on everyone.
Photo courtesy of STILLFX