What are toxic relationships? Well, when you buy an insecticide on the market or a cleaning product, what skull warning with one?Attention!? very visible for you to know: it’s very dangerous, it’s bad, it can lead to death.
So the calculation is pretty simple, does it hurt you a toxic relationship, it’s dangerous and of course it can lead to death?If it is not physical, moral, spiritual, self-esteem, self-love. And understand it, I am not talking (alone) about romantic relationships, because this reversal of values can occur between any degree of relationship that is established with another person, be it a family relationship, an employment relationship, a friendship and yes, also loving relationships.
- In my opinion.
- You are in a toxic relationship when you wonder if you are.
- No one who is happy and in a healthy relationship will wonder if it is in a bad position or not.
- What leads to this reflection are these signs that the consciousness receives and the heart.
- However stubborn.
- Grows back.
- Thinking that everything is a mistake.
I’m not a psychologist, I don’t study human behavior, I won’t mark the phases of a relationship, but I’ll point out, based on what I’ve seen and experienced, what turns on my inner light and signs: Hey. Something’s wrong here!
It begins with subtleties, with the renunciation of your own life, your private life, your old circle of friends in favor of this new relationship, they make you believe that you are acting correctly and out of love, that this is the moment for you, to Let the other person receive your undivided attention and be rewarded for all the love they have for you.
She explains that she doesn’t know her friends, so she doesn’t feel comfortable with them, she prefers to be alone with you and enjoy the moment. You find it consistent and you give in. You don’t think someone who really cares about you could make an effort to meet their friends, instead of walking away from them. Then, when you make this reflection, the other person can give in, observe the territory and then inform you of all the faults of those who claim to be their friends. She will show you that only she truly loves you, that she knows you and accepts you as you are, without interest or falsehood. You will be sad and receive all the love and attention to overcome this disappointment. then the world will be yours alone.
Your privacy will disappear. It takes your childhood’s life and opens up like a flower that blooms, little by little, and then you feel that comfort in evacuating and seeing someone interested in listening to you so carefully. Talk, talk, talk and fill your interlocutor with ammo that gives you fragments of your own life, in return, 6 for me, 2 for you. Now that you’ve exchanged confidences and increased this bond, you feel a strange dependence on this relationship, this person you know and understand. you, and he is endowed with all your weaknesses and strengths and you will see that soon, soon, it will be used against you.
Do you understand anything? You don’t have to show your loyalty and feelings, open your life and individuality and disrespect yourself, provide your passwords, open access to your social networks, reveal the unlocking of your mobile phone, show who your contacts are and expose your conversations show that everything is fine and that you are loyal and loyal to another person simply proves that something is very wrong there.
“Who shouldn’t be afraid?” Hear. And if you refuse to open your privacy, you’ll be accused of having something to hide. “Now I have reason to be cautious, otherwise you would have nothing to hide. Well, it’s not about hiding, just not having to prove it. “Anyone who trusts, trusts. If you want to leave your life open, because you really have nothing to hide, great, do it, I think these relationships of trust and openness are super healthy, as long as they are on their own initiative and are not imposed as proof of love. We never tasted love in any way, ever!
Discussions are frequent, maybe every day, and you start to get scared when things are going well, because you feel like they won’t last. And I stay here wondering if it’s not a very big warning sign that indicates you’re in trouble. Afraid to be happy, because you know it won’t last, look at this!Moments of peace are interrupted by insignificant things that always lead to painful discussions. In the end, you will be made to believe that the discussion took place just because you did not understand, did not respect, do not value the feeling, do not love with the same intensity, you are selfish, you walk away, you let the relationship calm down?
Or you take the blame, you apologize, you humiliate yourself by seeking forgiveness for what you didn’t actually do, while the other person positions himself as offended and hurt and forgives you, not without first talking about how you act badly when you do. these things and damage your relationship, or? You get up, you face the monster and you don’t give up on your certainties. Sometimes it works well and you hear excuses, so melodically used, with words of thanks that you help the other person to be better, that you feel that these discussions are part of the relationship, then you punish yourself and the other person explains that you made a mistake, but you have to understand that he has this and this weakness that you, insensitive, do And sometimes you elbow the dragon that spits out fire and throws up those explosions that you made like punishment for your misbehavior.
“I don’t know, you must have child trauma because of that and what you told me. It affects you, isn’t it my fault?
“Listen, repeating what happened to such and a Sicrano, eh. I knew, you’re doing this, so it didn’t work, is that you?
Etc? You’ll be like your father, mother, brother, grandmother, boss, and anyone else who’s told about your flaws at some point, in a confidential tone. This will be the time for you to feel that everything that has happened to this day and the way you have been treated was in fact your fault and your behavior. You are the one who spoils everything around you with your way of being and who forces people to treat you like this and deserves all your suffering.
Is there no way? This will enter your mind and you will feel like the worst of people, ask for forgiveness, try to change and be even closer to that person who not only understands you, but knows you and knows how to see you as no one has done before. Because “no one will ever love you like her. “
Disrespect is starting to be common. Speaking of bad words, “Shut up?” They are NOT terms between people who respect each other. And if you don’t live in a toxic relationship but practice this disrespect between your relationships, think again. People who love each other are not offended, never disrespectful, because it is simply unthinkable to do so with those who care about us, so maybe you find yourself acting differently, saying things you never said and reacting as if you had never reacted, you no longer recognize yourself and again you a little light tells you that it is not normal.
You become dependent on the other, like a drug, a drug that heals pain on one side and causes pain on the other. The other person depends on you and makes you feel that without your presence their life will not make the same sense. Are you afraid of someone who tells you that he doesn’t know how he’s going to live without you, that there’s no life without you?I think it’s something I don’t like.
It never works with anyone and now you are doing the same bad thing to that person. You will receive this charge! The other has accumulated wounds and a broken heart and has never been recognized, despite all the feeling he has to offer, because he always encounters opportunistic people like you, who do not value him. Now think about it? If it has never worked for you in many previous attempts, is the problem really coming from you?
I read everywhere that we can’t help sociopaths (which seemed like a heavy word, but reflects this behavior), but we think we can. Sometimes we think we have a mission, that nothing happens by chance, that this person has entered our lives because we have the strength to help him be free, right?And we weaken over time to the point of allowing him to press us, humiliate us, make us feel like a human fragment capable of being assembled only by himself.
You will be attacked, wounded and deliberately offended by the harshest words the other person can find, because he wants and needs you to suffer as he suffers. It’s not love Love doesn’t hurt, not on purpose and architecturally.
Jealousy will be a test of love, proof that someone takes care of you and cares for you like no one has ever done, no one has loved you so much in your whole life, people just took advantage of you, is that you?You may accept this test of love and attention, even if the light of your conscience tells you that this is not a way to show love.
“If I see you’re not happy, I’ll go. “
“I just want to see you, even if it’s not me.
“I renounce my happiness for yours. “
But dare to break the relationship, dare to speak at the end and go on without that person, you will have the opportunity to see the dragon spitting fire again.
I believe that this is where psychological, physical, abuse, conjugal rape comes from, leading to death, if not physical, moral, spiritual, self-esteem and self-love.
But do we know? Feel when something’s wrong. No one should be subject to this kind of subjugation, however, not everyone can get away with it so easily or even recognize the signals.
You know that conversation you want to have with your parents, a trusted friend, a brother, but the other person convinces you not to do it because it would open up your life, they tell you that people are jealous and they don’t like it and will they want to drive them away ? Forget this story and talk to someone you trust who can help you, whether it’s talking to you, empowering you, or supporting you to get out.
Do not think that it is natural to live in a relationship like this, thinking that relationships are difficult, that you are weak and cowardly for having given up, that you show that you have not felt love, do not think that it is natural Suffer and live with this little light inside that you indicates that something is very wrong and that you must act.
Love involves friendship, affection, complicity, understanding, tolerance, respect and that’s it, uncontrolled jealousy, anger, disrespect, physical and/or psychological violence followed by requests for forgiveness and brief repentance are not in the package.
Remember when you heard that this offense, this cry, this fight for no reason, these uncontrolled jealousy, this disrespect would never happen again, how many times has this been repeated since then?
Am I not an expert? But I’ve learned in life that experience is worth a lot more than diploma.
Pay attention to the warning of your conscience, it will indicate you with lights and sounds when something is wrong. Your heart will feel “love,” but it will be too heavy to be truly happy. And you’ll know how to identify that something is wrong and it’s time to leave this relationship.