Finding someone who gives you enough security to be vulnerable is one of the most reliable indicators that a relationship can work, as one of the most important research studies that has studied relationships says, although research was completed in 2013, their findings have only been presented to the public now, through the book “The Secrets of Lasting Love : how to make relationships last. “
This study found that what most unies couples is trust; a place where they can behave as they really are, without the social, professional or family pressures to which they are often subjected. Having a space with your partner where you feel free to share, knowing that our partner accepts us despite our shortcomings, is the key to making relationships lasting and rewarding.
- All relationships go through several stages.
- However.
- Regardless of them.
- Being safe enough to show us vulnerable to our partner is a positive indication of the health of this relationship.
Vulnerability is necessary for relationship growth; it helps to increase intimacy and strengthen ties, it is something that allows us to open up to each other and show our most delicate parts, for which we are strong and, at the same time, those that can cause us a lot of damage. We are talking, for example, about letting the other person observe how what is doing affects us or discovering the scars that leave us, the scars that still condition us today and that, when they have formed, have closed a deep and deep painful wound.
The search for security is one of our transversal and essential motivations. And it is a need that is never satisfied, fear scares us, but also “butterflies in the stomach” that are at least interesting. Leaving aside this curious paradox, we can say that certainties in relationships are rare.
It is more a matter of probability and, in that sense, according to the study “Secrets of Lasting Love: How to Make a Relationship Last?”, A high level of trust is one of the best indicators of happiness in the world. Interesting couple, isn’t it?
Love is precisely the best food for this trust. We tend to internalize this idea through the care we have received since childhood: we trust the people who love us and, at the same time, we are inclined to love people who inspire trust.
When our partner expresses confidence, a state of well-being and safety occurs in our brain, creating an environment where stress can hardly sustain, at the same time, the security bond we form with our partner allows us to create a space to show our most personal side.
Hiding or protecting ourselves is a natural reaction when we feel insecure. On the other hand, the feeling of vulnerability can be a powerful speaker of this sense of danger or threat.
Many people wear masks for fear of showing their privacy, because they think that in the future they can be attacked and that this attack will do them a lot of harm, however, in a couple, this feeling must find a balance with the need for intimacy; otherwise, it is impossible for trust to develop between the two: trust is based precisely on trust.
Thus, one of the most complicated tasks of the human being is to know each other, however, as we know each other and accept ourselves as we are, we will be less frightened at this possible vulnerability and therefore we will feel stronger than weaker.