Trusting is like giving a gift to the most delicate part we have: our heart, trust is a precious good, a treasure that must be offered with caution, because it is the most beautiful part of a friendship and the strongest bond in a relationship. You don’t need to know everything about this person because the connection is excellent, on the other hand, trust is essential to establish and develop intimacy.
This connection goes far beyond the simple psychological field; we are talking about an emotional bond that builds our social behavior, so much so that through philosophy and sociology we explain why trust in humanity acquires a more authentic and revealing level than in other animals, animals trust their peers of the same species through simple instinctive behavior. Most of the time, people do it consciously, applying a “selection”: a very special filter based on their experiences.
“Trusting everyone is crazy, but not trusting anyone is neurotic stupidity. “Juvénal?
When we talk about trust, we hear positive emotions that guarantee the strength of a bond, however, a person’s confidence in others is one of the aspects that defines their personality, low self-esteem, a traumatic childhood or the pain of betrayal. hinder our ability to trust others.
This is a very interesting and nuanced topic that we would like to share with you in this article.
One of the psychological and even evolutionary benefits of the concept of trust is that we can temporarily suspend our instincts of self-defense, uncertainty and fear, because few things can bring more emotional suffering than always being defensive, for fear of being hurt. or betrayed in our daily relationships.
Therefore, relying on the other means eliminating these uncertainties to simplify personal relationships. We stop thinking about each other’s behavior as a threat, to make assumptions about that person’s future behavior; we believe that this interaction will always be positive, that it will never betray us, it will always be this “friendly hand”, that enlightened soul that will guide us at all times.
Do you need to know everything? Your partner, family member or good friend. Trust needs no explanation: you can read the sincerity at a glance. It is to connect our minds to harmonize day after day when there are no requirements, where there is no strict control or permanent reaffirmation of that bond for the other to create.
On the other hand, remember that our brain needs to be simplified and live a daily routine without risks, it needs an adequate emotional balance, where trust is its best weapon so that we can live well, if we think about it we all work on autopilot: we leave the mind in the hands of a commander who constantly gives us confidence and guides us.
Trust this doctor, he knows what he’s doing and he’ll help you. Trust every day when you go out on the street, doom is not something we meet all the time. If we do not put this autopilot in our minds, we will develop a neurotic behavior that will completely disconnect us from reality, from our personal balance.
We must admit that when we are betrayed, it is very difficult to trust again: it is as if we have been robbed of a piece. Is it like the Shylock? Merchant of Venice, come and recover your debt and take a piece of our hearts; it is a permanent and profound wound that prevents us, in many cases, from connecting intimately with someone.
“The best way to know if you can trust someone is by offering them your trust first. “Ernest Hemingway?
The most painful disappointments are those we live with our loved ones, in these cases the most problematic thing is that this mistrust extends to other areas of our lives: we begin to suspect everything, we close and we are ingested from others.
In the “manual of the eternal deenchanted” we find this chapter that begins with “I will never trust anyone again, people are harmful, interested and selfish”.
When we think so, whether we like it or not, we enter into an irrecoverable life entropy, when in reality we are genetically and evolutionaryly predisposed to connect with other people around us, we rely on building relationships, to strengthen ourselves psychologically, intellectually and emotionally, and develop what is now called “vital intelligence”.
Conscious and vital intelligence is a direct invitation to survival and self-realization, where trust in ourselves and others is the most powerful substrate to give us value, we have no choice, we must open ourselves to the other and accept it to be reunited with ourselves Few things can be more satisfying than that.
Images courtesy of Pierre Monet.