Some people live locked up in their homes, worried. They imagine the future as a large field full of mines, dangers, and this attitude prevents them from living in peace, they fear that a truck of misfortune will suddenly fall on them.
These people are sure your child will get a red mark on next week’s test. They think they’ll have a heart attack when they feel a bite in their chest. They’re afraid when they think they have cancer when a mole appears. fear that your child will have an accident every time she gets in the car, etc.
“Throughout my life, I have suffered many misfortunes that never happened. – Mark Twain-
The lower probability of the negative events anticipated by these individuals is surprising than the attributes of the affected person, when the probability is not zero; Furthermore, the funny thing is that sometimes they realize their predictions, giving rise to self-fulfilling prophecies, according to psychologists. This way of thinking makes them feel and act in accordance with their fears.
Let’s look at an example of self-fulfilling prophecy: a driver gets very scared when he gets out of the car because he thinks he’s going to have an accident, when he gets in the car to get out he does it in such a big state of anxiety that it prevents him from driving safely, which increases the risk of the accident he fears so much.
“Try to live the day, wait for things to happen before suffering for them. -Carmen Serrat-Valera-
Certainly, some people spend their lives suffering for things that never happen, so they avoid experiences that can even be positive for fear of the potential dangers and disgust they can cause, their pathological concern makes them wait and suffer disasters that will never happen.
In fact, the insecure person seeks certainty, not truth, so he does not realize that truth is sought by looking to the future, risking mistakenness, venturing, somehow giving up guarantees.
Therefore, the insecure person will always look for evidence that what he fears will never happen, thus increasing the intensity of anxiety.
Low self-esteem can contribute to the component of over-concern for personality; in addition, it is often associated with insecurity. People with low self-esteem tend to think more about what is expected of them than what they really want to do.
When we think about what others expect from us, we lose our essence and become puppets. Wanting to please everyone exponentially increases our anxiety.
People who are more emotionally dependent, when they are close to the person they depend on, fear that separation can occur at any time, so they have to live with the stress of doing nothing that can cause the other person to leave.
It is also a major concern because we live in society and are surrounded by people who are precious to us. If we are emotionally dependent, any indication of loss or collapse will reaffirm the need for hypervigilance.
The person who tends to use avoidance to deal with their fears will have increasingly intense and disabling fears. Moreover, because there is no contrast to reality, these fears will cover both real facts and fantasies; illusions that survive precisely because they never face each other.
Experience avoidance is a very common problem today, we live more focused on the future or the past than in the present, which leads us to constantly worry about what may or has happened, preventing us from living the present in fullness.
Remember, today is the next day you were worried yesterday. -Dale Carnegie-
Dispelling the concerns of those who are used to generating them is no easy task, however, here are some ideas that can be of great help:
Be very careful what’s around you. You can memorize license plate numbers, guess what people do in life, add item prices in a store, listen to birdsong, etc. , create puzzles, crossword puzzles, sudokus, hum a song, count a hundred, read something interesting, etc. Exercising and staying physically active is a good way to prevent diseases of all kinds and a wonderful antidote to pathological problems.
However, it’s good to remember something very important: don’t use distraction techniques so you don’t address your concerns, discuss your concerns before resorting to distraction techniques.
Normally we care more about the night, when we are in bed trying to fall asleep, the environmental stimulus is greatly reduced and we tend to concentrate on our own thoughts and bodily sensations.
It seems obvious that it is not a good idea to lie with your head full of worries, to avoid it, just write in a booklet everything that concerns you and its possible solutions, leaving the concern for the next day. This way, you’ll feel safer and sleep better.
Another technique that works is “garbage time”. It consists of dedicating 20 minutes a day exclusively to worrying. You must have predicted when your ‘garbage time’ is and you can only think about your concerns during those minutes, that’s all. And when I don’t say anything else, it’s really nothing else. For the rest of the day, you’ll be comfortable, because you know there are 20 minutes to worry about everything you want, so wait for that time to come, needless to say that worries are forbidden for the rest of the day.
As I always like to say, these tips are not intended to replace the expert help of a competent psychologist, in the case of a generalized anxiety disorder (excessive pathological anxiety) it is ideal to call a specialist as soon as possible.