One of the most common problems today is that of unmet expectations in a relationship. Many of us struck up a relationship with our clothes on?And the open heart. We tell ourselves that it is definitive, that this time we will finally regain that emotional stability to grow with someone in the same project, until, little by little, the cold of disappointment arises.
“You have a lot of illusions and you’re not realistic,” they say, “you put on very high expectations and that’s why you end up disappointed,” others insist. Maybe that’s the way it is. We can abuse castles in the air and put a lot of hope into someone we don’t know enough after all.
- However.
- There is one thing we need to consider: having expectations is fine.
- With them we put on the horizon everything we want: to be happy.
- To feel reciprocated.
- To be loved and to begin a new stage of life in which.
- Although there are no difficulties.
- Challenges are worth it.
If something fails, the emptiness, the lack and the clear feeling that something is missing.
Expectations build the structure of our relationships, whether as a couple, with friends or family, in them we place what we expect from others in the short and long term, define our desires, our hopes and what we consider essential to feel safe, satisfied and happy As we have already said, it is right to build them, define them and even put them on our horizon.
The problem arises when, what should I expect?this does not happen when the expected reward is not present in this relationship. Expectations are generally not met when assumptions about that future were excessive and unrealistic. In other words, when we ourselves embark on mental journeys, do you dream of the impossible.
The other reason is obvious: our expectations have been adjusted and conceivable, but what we are living does not reach a minimum level of satisfaction, sometimes disappointment opens the way like a crack under our feet, what we live daily is not what we live. we expected Love still exists, but that doesn’t seem enough.
Let’s go a little further on this
It is often said that it is better to live, leaving room for the unexpected than for expectations. That may be true. However, as rational beings, we must have minimal sense of control over events.
Expectations are personal beliefs, future assumptions about what we would like to happen, they are also sophisticated mechanisms that allow us to anticipate or imagine certain facts to know how we would react to them, so, knowing this, is it bad to feed expectations?in a relationship?
Many people feel that their couple expectations are unsatisfactory, disappointed and sometimes even disappointed when they realize that many things they expected do not happen, love is there and we know that we are reciprocal, but still, there are many things that are out of tune in this relational score.
What can we do in these situations?
Expectations not met in a relationship usually lead to a breakup, this happens when the person ends up feeling that everyone travels separately on this road, it is the same car, the same ticket, but each follows a different path, these are complex situations that many people have gone through at some point in their lives.
The most appropriate thing in all cases is to set realistic and well-adjusted expectations about what we want and what we do not want, about what is considered a priority and what is considered intolerable (disappointment, misunderstanding, lie, emotional coldness?) “Once these expectations are set and shared, it is always good to make way for the unexpected, allowing us to discover ourselves, face challenges together, and continue to grow.
After all, finding a partner is not finding someone who 100% meets all your expectations and desires, it’s about finding someone whose trip completes yours.