Assuming no couple is the same, let’s talk about what the similarity of values can bring to romantic relationships, making them flow healthily. Establishing specific values in a romantic relationship can lay the groundwork for the proper functioning of the relationship.
What is a couple? The term may refer to a group of two people in a more or less formalized emotional relationship: romantic appointment, commitment, marriage or stable union.
- What is the reference when we talk about values? Values refer to the qualities or virtues that characterize a person.
- Action or object.
- And are considered positive or of great importance by a social group.
That is, values would be the qualities that arise from each person and lead them to act in one way or another because they are part of their beliefs, in addition to expressing their interests and conditioning their behavior.
Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts in your words, your words in your actions, your actions in your habits, your habits in your values, your values in your destiny. . – Mahatma Gandhi.
In the study of Medina et al. (2005), in the semantic dimension of intimacy, it is observed that both men and women seek a person with similar needs, compatible, with characteristics in common, with whom it is possible to identify, with similar tastes.
According to the instrumental theory of couple selection, the previous point is that people are looking for someone who has values similar to their own (Centres, 1975). In this way, couples are formed by identifying couples that have similar social, economic and cultural values. characteristics (Rice, 1997).
“Find people who share your values and together they will conquer the world. “John Ratzenberger.
Rowing together in the same direction, determining values in romantic relationships, can lay the groundwork for these relationships to function properly or improve.
The behaviors and expectations of each individual, in this case of the relationship, respond to the social beliefs and values transmitted through the process of socialization to which he was subjected (Kaminsky, 1981).
The process of socialization is transformative over time, as it leads to changes in social values and norms, so people’s beliefs and behaviors are expected to do so too (Daaz-Guerrero, 2003).
As a result, expectations, values and behaviors in romantic relationships have changed (García-Merz, 2007), creating new parameters that influence and respond to the social situation in which the couple finds themselves (Snyder and Stukas, 1999).
The establishment of values in sentimental relationships is an objective that requires joint work, as we said at the beginning, each couple is unique and, therefore, the values that form it as well.
However, we can talk about some of the basic values that most couples agree on, we talk about values such as love, fidelity, mutual help, generosity, mutual respect and communication, below we will describe each of them.
There are many types of love, but they are all governed by the same thread. Tell him, do I love you? To someone, it’s not the same as saying “I want you. “
These close and distant sequences bring together a series of phenomena ranging from passion to established love and from there to coexistence. It is the surprise to discover the other person and fall in love, to reach a stable point. , durable and persistent formula.
Loyalty will depend on the type of agreement previously established, each couple establishes a type of commitment. There are exclusively monogamous couples, others are not.
The theme seems clear: if the covenants are fulfilled, there is fidelity, when they are not fulfilled, there is trap.
Being able to trust someone else, trust that they will not fail and protect their interests, is a feeling that makes us braver, less vulnerable.
It is an argument for the management of adversity, it is about empathizing with the couple, trying to better understand the other, express acceptance and unconditional support.
“Love lays the foundation for all human values. “-Milan Hollister-
It may sound strange, but there are times when selfishness takes up space in the face of generosity, there are those who find it difficult to be generous to their partner and who only know how to ask or look (?Need?? I want to??I’d like to?), which generates negative feelings.
However, being in a romantic relationship is more than that, the best way to be generous to your partner is not to think that it’s yourself to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, trying to understand your point of view, even without agreeing. with them on certain occasions.
Building a relationship based on mutual respect is a fundamental value, at this stage the members of the couple must be at the same level.
It’s about providing an individual space in the relationship and a space for both. We also talk about respect when we accept the other person in its entirety, without trying to change it.
It would be good to establish strong and fluid communication that builds trust. The so-called assertive communication is definitive by Satir (1988) as the ability to express himself in a direct, honest and respectful way.
In any case, opening channels of communication in the relationship means that both people are committed to sharing what corresponds to a link, i. e. disagreements, achievements, common goals, needs, etc. , or developing the will to learn how to do so. Good communication translates into healthy bonds, mutual respect, affection, affection and camaraderie.