When we try to please everyone, we end up having fun, how many times have we said yes to others and said NO to ourselves, how often do we sacrifice our will, desires and feelings to please someone?
We’ve probably done it several times in our lives, because the line between the healthy and what it produces too much compared to others is very tenuous. We can certainly say that it is as dangerous as it is unnecessary.
- In this sense.
- Sometimes it is difficult to keep the line when we have to say NO to something that would nullify us.
- The voice can even tremble a little and avoid eye contact.
- However learning to protect our gasoline with confidence is essential.
One of the definitions of Assertiveness? The closest thing to the familiar language we can find comes from the psychologist Walter Riso, who proposes the following:
“Assertiveness is a person’s ability to say NO, disagree, take a contrary position in conflict situations, and not do it as the submissive does, who negotiates with their principles, or how they do so. Aggression, violating the principles of others.
Is the statement a person capable of expressing their negative feelings, without violating the rights of others or trying not to violate them?
In the manipulation to which we submit our desires, we become unable to refuse to do a certain thing despite the negative consequences for us.
To do this is to take poison, drink water from the source of eternal pain, and become unmet people with great revolt and enormous frustration at not being able to affirm our opinions and beliefs.
An eastern master saw a scorpion drown and decided to remove it from the water, but when he did, the scorpion stung him, due to the reaction to pain, the owner let him go and the animal fell into the water and drowned again. The teacher tried to get him out again and again, the animal stung him, someone who was looking at the master came and said:
I’m sorry, but you’re stubborn, don’t you see that every time you try to get it out of the water it stings you?
The teacher replied
? The nature of the scorpion is to sting, and that won’t change mine, which is to help.
Therefore, using a blade, the master removed the scorpion and saved it.
“Don’t change your essence when someone hurts you, just be careful. What others think of you isn’t your problem, it’s their problem.
We must not fail to be who we are simply because someone is hurting or hurting us at some point, we must learn to manage our will and reassess the circumstances to adapt our strategies.
Similarly, intuitively re-evaluating our feelings toward others is also not the answer. We must fight for them and work on our expectations so that we can maintain our principles without feeling bad.
That is why, as they say, wanting to please everyone has an important emotional cost that is avoidable, because it ends with self-esteem, self-love and determination, so we must protect ourselves and take the necessary precautions to coat our essence and not suffer unnecessarily. The key is to say NO if necessary.