They say that keeping a secret is not good, it hurts, however, sometimes it is more common for us to be hurt when we take the step to reveal that trust, because there are treacherous hearts that make us feel naive when we offer them to them. the key to our soul.
We can’t deny that. We have all these private oceans at the bottom of which are hidden various secrets protected by thick chains and countless padlocks. Occasionally, we look there, very carefully, to remember a fact, a detail. It’s a picture. A hidden pleasure or even a traumatic moment of the past.
- Often.
- Keeping a secret inevitably leads us to initiate the conduct of deception.
- This is done by those who.
- For example.
- Maintain an addiction.
- Thus causing them to injury themselves and others.
- Also makes the mistake of not loving anymore.
- Who has a bad heart in relation to the person with whom he lives and yet chooses to remain silent and move on out of fear.
- Indecision.
- Custom or a combination of all this.
They are realities that, one way or another, we all know, yet not all secrets have that component in which the mistake of safeguarding one’s personal reality itself must be made unscrupulously, the truth is that there are secrets that, far from provoking a conflict with our person and the environment, are like precious treasures surrounded by the veil of silence.
We are not sure why this is the case, but there are facts that, if pronounced aloud and in the ear of the wrong person, would lose their brightness, their singular and transcendent essence to our being.
There are painful secrets. Personal facts that certainly require leverage in order to heal us and be free. A mistake with consequences, a mistake or unusual trauma sometimes leads us to keep a series of confidences that we have been wrapped in railway fences for months or even years.
When that happens, we do not hesitate to use precise defense mechanisms; thus, we establish a safe distance between the outside world and this delicate area that is gradually healing our secret wound. You think, “Everything’s fine. However, this wound, far from being cauterized, spreads even more. That’s when our behavior” ranges from anxiety, helplessness and depression.
But saying these facts aloud also presupposes, at the same time, facing another stressful state. Why don’t we ever know how others will react?In essence, break that false balance we relied on.
We are all well aware of what hurts, what weighs, what we must let go of, we know that saying aloud the facts that someone chooses to hide under the carpet of our mind can free us, heal us, yet there are those who choose Never to do so. Out of curiosity, will we talk about Dr. Evan Imber-Black, family psychiatrist and director of the?Center for Family and Health in the Bronx in New York.
In his book Secrets in Families and Family Therapy, he tells how many people have found a great advantage in keeping a diary throughout his life. These personal experiences, sometimes printed with poor and fragile writing, hid real dramas or hard facts. who never dared to share with their families. For them, writing has become a daily livelihood.
However, as Dr. Imber Black explains, family secrets, far from evaporating, are passed down from generation to generation in the form of inheritances, such as “traps” waiting to explode. Although this fact is not revealed, negative emotional climate and tension pollute all dynamics.
Keeping a diary helps, but it’s not enough. We have to release them, rebuild them, heal them.
There are secrets, unlike the previous ones, that do not hurt, are ours, as well as our skin, oxygen or scars that we receive from children and that we occasionally caress to transport us to a moment of the past. memories that define us and that we simply choose not to share with anyone.
Sometimes these private treasures are composed of sensations and thoughts that arise at a certain time, other times it is only experiences, those that form the emotional tissue that defines us now, memories that cannot be pronounced out loud because there are words that cannot describe the immensity of these sensations that still make us tremble inside.
What we all know is that sometimes we choose to share these delicate secrets with our loved one, to do this is something that we must think about a lot, it is not good to give up the emotion of the moment for a long time, because we run the risk that these private spaces will launch abruptly with irony, disappointment and even betrayal.
Believe it or not, it is always good to keep something secret for us, they are private islands, very secluded gardens where you can take root, where you can turn from time to time to find calm, to kiss us in the peaceful pleasure of our essence. .