Heartbreak is a heartbreak that marks, above all, certain ages or certain moments of life, so much so that we are often completely trapped in the emotional age of heartbreak, that is, the absence of affection slows our development and we cannot move forward until that wound is healthy.
The concept of maturity is essentially that: a concept. In practice, all people have different ages with them, some predominate, but others are present, this is an opportunity because it allows us to enjoy a game as children and solve problems with the wisdom of an adult.
- However.
- There are circumstances that put us at a certain age.
- In particular.
- We are stuck in the emotional age of deamoration if we do not work on this gap.
- Which can come from very young age.
- If this is the case.
- Even the elderly can be emotionally like a child who fears and gets hurt by not having important connections.
I write causes and I don’t describe the effects?Andrés Rivera?
In childhood all experiences have a profound impact, it is at this stage that the foundations of who we are and what we will be form, this does not mean that this need for affection does not persist in later stages, but that its impact is decisive in the early years.
When a child is between 1 and 2 years old and lacks affection, the first thing that is hurt is self-confidence, he expects the mother, or anyone who plays this role, to pay attention to his needs.
If this is not the case, or comes out of rejection and aggression, it will probably be very difficult to trust others from there, like trusting each other. This is the first way a person risks getting caught up in the emotional age of lack of love.
At 2 or 3 years old, the child formally begins his path to autonomy. This has to do, first of all, with sphincter control. At the same time, there are all the activities that allow you to fly on your own in the world.
At these ages, a loving mother, or anyone who plays this role, promotes this autonomy with love and without haste, does not ask the child for more than he can give according to his level of development and his learning history, nor hinders his development by doing for the child what he can do alone. Love must not become an addiction, nor should autonomy be abandoned.
This process of independence extends further over the period of between 3 and 6 years, usually nothing in humans has exact dates. In any case, this is the age of great exploitation in the world, a dear child lives this adventure without fear. Otherwise, it will probably be inhibited and afraid, even if there is no danger.
In school age, the child develops a love of work and diligence. Of course, if a loving hand to guide. Otherwise, you’ll do your school work with a sense of inferiority, another way to get stuck in the emotional age of love.
We realize that we remain stuck in the emotional age of disaffection when we manifest certain personality traits in our adult lives and cannot explain why. We are also unable to change, although we think it is appropriate.
Someone who drags on the emotional needs of childhood will be insecure, shy and full of fears. It will be very difficult to reaffirm, know what you want and express how you feel. You will have a lot of difficulty setting goals and betting on them. ; your fear will be greater than your hope, above all you will be a very passive person, even in your sex life, which will be something difficult to appreciate.
So what do we do? Injuries from lack of affection can be greatly healed, but won’t it happen naturally?A good idea is to find ways for this needy child to express himself openly, let him speak, assume the role of that child, and allow her to say what he feels, either in writing or with a therapist. It’s a good way to break with this emotional age of non-magnet.
Images courtesy of Ofra Amit