We are not just what we think; The people around us also define us. No environment is neutral and few situations escape the influence others may have on us, depending on what they say and do or do not do.
We would like all this influence to be positive and inspiring, but the truth is that sometimes we live quite the opposite.
- In the literature of personal growth and in the world of the positive phrases that flood our social networks.
- There is no shortage of classic messages: “We must always surround ourselves with rewarding people”.
- Those that always show the best of ourselves.
- You can recognize that this is not possible in all cases for very specific reasons.
Each of us is, in part, the result of those who raised and educated us. We are the product of our interactions with the people we know at school, college, work and other social contexts.
Since it is not always possible to control all the people we deal with, we are sometimes forced to live with those we do not like.
Thus, although in the end the experience revealed how to deal with people who disturb us or bring us anxiety instead of happiness, these interactions and experiences also define us.
Therefore, all the people in our lives, past and present, paint the complex but beautiful network of our existential journey.
“Learn to be who you are and learn to give up everything you are not” – Henry Friedrich Amiel-
Jim Rohn, an entrepreneur and renowned author of books on motivation, happiness and leadership, points out that each of us is the result of the five people we spend the most time with.
Here, however, there is a small but obvious nuance, which is that the people with which we share the longest are not really our partners, our family and our friends.
Because of our working hours, we spend more time away from home, which causes, for example, the influence of colleagues, bosses and others we are working on to define our overall mood.
In addition, there is another detail that is sometimes forgotten and also has a great impact on our well-being: dividing our time into various social contexts does not always favor our well-being.
Sometimes our days are a complex succession of movements; we run from home to work, gym, classes, shopping, family visits, we spend time with people we take with or not, all this, on several occasions, causes us to accumulate a lot of stress, which we are not always aware of.
For example, studies such as that conducted by Singapore Management University’s Faculty of Social Policy indicate that while well-being is subjective, people experience greater happiness when they share time with fewer people, as long as they are clearly meaningful and rewarding.
It’s a fact. The people around us define us in many cases because, in a way, they are part of the environment to which we have to adapt, this usually happens at the family level. Each of us ends up establishing ourselves as unique pieces in the machine our parents build.
The rules they give us define us, as well as the advice, teachings, silences, what we see and also the expectations they put us, this can also happen in romantic relationships, where almost unknowingly, we end up internalizing many of the others. characteristics of the person and vice versa.
Seneca said that life is like a play; It doesn’t matter how long it lasted, it’s how much it was represented. To this wise message we add another one, and it is that in this room we are not always alone.
There are more actors in the scene of life and it is up to us whether we act as protagonists or as mere characters of the cast.
The people around us define us, we know, you can’t always choose your family, but you can decide, when the time comes, who to stay in touch with.
Nor can we “disable” as if it were a video game, those awkward classmates or classmates, neighbors or acquaintances who are generally not at all pleasant.
While we can’t avoid these people, we can learn to manage them by setting boundaries, opening emotional umbrellas, and preventing their behavior from having power over us.
On the other hand, and here’s the most important thing, each of us has a margin of freedom to decide who comes in and who comes out of our lives.
Surrounding ourselves with good people is not an art, it is a necessity, to have friends and family at our side that inspire us and help give our best is not a gift, it is a privilege, let us think about it every day.