It is common to go through a situation where we think it is better to remain silent, someone can even repress us directly by saying, “This is not said!”, or we can also, by intuition, perceive people’s willingness to listen or the response of the environment. The problem is that there are countless situations in which not expressing yourself makes us sick.
Once we record and process each other’s message, it is up to us to decide how to act, on many occasions this message of repression inhibits us and we will end up keeping what we think without even being aware of it. .
- There is a need to delve into this issue.
- Today we will show you what happens right now.
- Why not express yourself can hurt us.
- And with what tools we can deal with these kinds of situations.
“Secrets and orders to remain silent can lead us to develop unhealthy interactions with ourselves, with others, and with nature. “
The situation can occur in several different contexts. On the one hand, many justify their behavior when they forbid us to express ourselves with the typical question: “What will others think?”On the other hand, it may be forbidden to talk about any issue of interest to us without any explanation.
This also happens when there are secrets at play that must remain hidden for one or more family members to protect themselves, all of these situations can become traumatic moments, and we don’t know how to put words into what’s going on so others can. understand us.
The result is that despite claiming that certain topics have ceased to exist, still exist and finally the thoughts, feelings and behaviors associated with them appear, since we have many different ways of perceiving and communicating, and even if verbal language is suppressed, nonverbal language may eventually manifest itself.
Now it is also important to note that all those who tell us not to talk about something have no bad intentions, often unconsciously, we communicate something that we do not want or that we do not intend to harm the other.
But of course, there are also those who want to hurt, that’s why they reward our silence or punish our expressions, there are also those who do so thinking that they are protecting us, or even to avoid harming us.
In this context, silence can be harmful because it prevents our brain from venting, since ideas acquire oxygen beyond our body, our internal dialogue. Time.
However, when others do not let us talk about certain issues invade our freedom, in some situations it may even be necessary to remain silent, especially if the other person is going through a difficult time, but it will always invalidate us. and create a conflict between helping others and protecting our rights.
Sometimes not expressing ourselves is bad because we do it out of fear, especially when what we went through was really painful or even embarrassing, however, it will always be important to express yourself in order to release energy and let the trauma pass. .
Reviving a difficult situation can also be seen as a learning opportunity; if we do not, we could re-experience what distresses us without taking further action.
At other times, there are secrets that remain so as not to cause harm, and yet they do. The person may discover it in other ways, or he may not be able to face certain challenges in life because he is more or less aware of that something. it’s happening, but they don’t know how to identify what very well.
There are different strategies to deal with these kinds of situations in which someone cannot express themselves:
On the other hand, if we suspect something, we can ask the other person, who seems to be hiding something, to share with us what is happening, so that, on many occasions, we will lighten the burden and prepare with a mood for adaptation and problem solving.
As you can see, there are several ways to overcome the obstacle that one poses. This topic is so important that it has been studied by various branches of psychology, such as systemic therapy.
In addition, it is also studied by the scientific method. Ludmila da Silva Catela, in your article?Methodological questions about boundaries and silence in the family interviews of missing politicians? he puts forward a reflection that what is not said, censored or corrected has an intimate relationship with trust and pain.
This is mainly true among victims of violence, indirect or not, even in later generations who have not actually experienced a ban on speaking.
Each topical topic can end up causing a lot of pain, but it is possible to express yourself in different ways. People who tell us, directly or indirectly, that we “don’t talk” don’t always pretend to hurt, but they can do it anyway, because they don’t speak for the harm it causes in many different situations.
Therefore, it is important to make the hidden visible visible, but assertively, which in turn requires certain strategies, skills and attitudes.