The? Ter?it has become an obsession within capitalism. This is due to the creation of an imaginary according to which the essence of who we are depends on what we have. What are we talking about? We’re talking?Having a partner, not having a romantic relationship with someone, are we talking?Having a job, not being a hard worker, but no one owns anything, let alone anyone.
The? Ter? It was above the ‘being’, so we often fall into the logic of trying to define who we are through the acquired. We even had identity issues when we lost what we had for a long time.
“There is no love but a test of love, and the test of love for the one you love is to let him live freely.
? Anonymous?
As for material goods we can say that practically everything we own is temporary, that is, we only have their use and pleasure for a while, because it ends, wears out, spoils or deteriorates and we must have a certain object. .
In other words, we don’t even have the full ownership of the objects; however, there are those who not only ignore this truth, but also those who think that other people have, this is presented with particular intensity in romantic relationships that, by their very nature, in most cases include a component of reciprocal exclusivity.
According to various studies, monogamy is not one of the hallmarks of the nature of mankind, quite the opposite: evolution shows that polygamy prevailed at the beginning of history and that the exclusive relationship between two people is the result of a long period of time. and complex cultural process.
Humans warned that polygamy could be problematic enough for a society as complex as that built throughout history, yet for much of humanity, the rule of having a single partner from the beginning to the end of life is not something that is always respected. In today’s West, it’s almost absurd.
Although we are all aware that things work like this, in almost every relationship someone wants to go beyond reason, it seems that there is an ideal that we never give up: finding someone who is ours?Forever.
Many of the initial words and promises of a relationship use this logic. What we have is eternal, etc. , is anything else wrong after that?Burning? Preliminary. Sometimes the relationship simply evolves and the couple learns to balance individual spaces with shared spaces.
Other times, however, the ideal of? You don’t give up having the other one or thinking we own each other. Since a two-way relationship usually involves an exclusivity pact between the two parties, some go further and expect or require the other to behave as if it were their possession. In other words, the person thinks they have their partner. It loses the border that separates mutual correspondence from feelings, the instrumentalization of the other person.
Establishing a loving relationship with another person does not mean that one must appropriate the other, so it cannot be said that one person loses the other when a relationship ends. Seriously, how does it feel like one? Loss? Love ends up being more like an evolution in a process.
Feelings are not fixed on the human being, quite the opposite: our emotions and feelings, our needs, our expectations and everything in our inner world is constantly moving. We have, of course, a more or less persistent temperament and character, but our perception of objects of affection or desire is relatively unstable.
This happens even in the most lasting and intense loves. You don’t like the same person, the same way, at any point in life. Sometimes they love each other more, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes you don’t like it and suddenly love comes back, all with the same person.
If we can’t even say we have it completely, how can we think we have someone else’s possession?If we do this, it’s because we’re trapped in the fantasy of our own ego and it prevents us from differentiating what it is. ours from abroad. We’ve come to believe they’re the same.
Is that why we feel one? When we face an end, as if we didn’t have something that “belonged to us” before. We don’t know that what has changed are the feelings and motivations, which used to lead to the creation of intimacy and now call for distance.
The only void left by one human being in another’s life is that of the dream that he will always be there. What is lost, in fact, is the sustenment of these dreams, but not the other?Because no one owns anyone. So, in the face of these final situations, no matter how we feel in a situation of loss, we must think of it as a process of internal adaptation, that is, we do not lose anyone, because no one owns anyone.
Image credits: Jung Eun Park, Audrey Kawasakinn