There came a time in my life when I began to practice ‘saving people’, I include in my daily life all those who enrich my days, who value my dreams and my accomplishments in my heart.
“We must give importance to those who add to us. ” You may find this expression a little drastic, for this, and first of all, we need to define what the concept of personal contribution means.
- All who are sincere in their actions.
- Express themselves and contribute to our growth.
- Human relationships.
- Far from being an exchange based on “you give me.
- I give you”.
- Is something that goes beyond any material good.
We talk about emotions, and in particular positive emotions that promote our personal growth with this exchange of experiences and small moments that elevate entire universes.
We live in a complex society, often laden with personal interests and individualities. Everyday life is often governed by competitiveness or even a desire for possession.
There are those who aspire to control their partner for fear of losing them, parents who overprotect their children, friends who dominate friends for fear of loneliness, for fear of losing unconditional and daily support.
In many of our interpersonal relationships, a sense of selfishness weighs on us, which we are aware of and endure.
What can we do with these situations?
We are aware that it is not just about distanceing yourself from all of them, real life is not like social networks, where there is the option to “delete friends”.
It is quite possible that some members of your family, far from enriching your life, will fill you with discomfort, or that you have a negative, defeatist and critical colleague that we cannot erase from our day to day.
It is simply a matter of not giving them the importance they deserve, preventing them from affecting their actions or words, as long as they do not cross the limits of their emotional or psychic integrity.
Now look, in the face of these kinds of personalities where toxicity does not leave the critical zone, it is better not to hold them accountable: neither in your life nor in your thoughts, it sets the limits. Because by allowing them to affect you, you will accumulate very dangerous physical and emotional stress.
The key to this permissiveness, this way of worrying about who adds to us, is to build positive relationships.
Here are the basic pillars
In our space we often talk about the importance of “avoiding attachments”. Well, the key is how to differentiate between the attachments that make us suffer (those that subject us to certain needs), healthy attachments, where growth bonds are built.
? We need to foster confidence-based attachments rather than anxiety and fear of being abandoned or betrayed. It is vital that there is harmony based on maturity and mutual respect.
To deny that we all have needs is to put a blindfold on our eyes. For someone to really care about us, there has to be an adequate exchange of personal benefits.
? Mutual respect and certainness that we will not be judged or rejected when we express our thoughts.
? Shows of affection in the day to day: is that feeling of complicity that we enjoy with our friends, is the selfless affection of our companions?It’s offering love freely.
All of these are undoubtedly the roots that enrich any positive relationship.
Sometimes, when you have a problem, a loved one, instead of providing strategies, or just putting yourself in your place to understand it, will criticize you for certain things.
It is these people who, far from helping us, immerse us even more. Try to keep your distance in these cases and choose who’s coming at this time.
If someone in your nearest context does not accept the fact that you have made certain mistakes, it will not be a healthy or emotionally secure relationship.
Always face exaggeration, relationships where there is no room for error, where there is no chance of being better.
We all make mistakes, make mistakes, make mistakes, and move forward to grow personally.
All who love you as you are, with your successes, your mistakes, your manias and your greatness, are people who bring light into your life, do you not lose them, do you cling firmly to the tails of your kites?
Image courtesy of Elina Ellis.