There is an irrational belief that is deeply ingrained in our culture that says something like this: “Do I have to be competent and intelligent and wise in all aspects?”
People who agree with this must feel an intense fear of seeming inferior, ignorant, or uns intelligent, because they think that if others perceive that they do not live up to a certain area of knowledge, skill, or dexterity, they will be rejected. these people, it seems to be something intolerable, which generates a lot of anxiety.
- If we think about it quickly we will realize that it is a very absurd and counterproductive fear.
- It is true that demonstrating certain qualities.
- Culture or wisdom is rewarding.
- When others admire us.
- Congratulate or congratulate us for some knowledge or something we have.
- Done correctly.
- We feel very good about ourselves.
- Proud.
But it’s one thing that’s nice, and it’s another that self-esteem, or how the person feels and values himself, depends on his intelligence, his culture or his skills. The self-esteem or value we give ourselves should not depend on it.
Self-esteem should never depend on superficial values, that is, neither physical, nor intelligence, nor on the successes or achievements, nor on the acceptance of others, since these values are very easy to lose at some point and therefore your self-esteem will fall with them: you will become a very vulnerable person.
Will there always be someone more beautiful than you, smarter, gifted, and more educated than you, who is more successful?So if you make your self-esteem and self-esteem dependent on others, you’ll be very emotionally weak. Discomfort and self-ception will compromise your life.
“The less we accept ourselves, the more we need the acceptance of others. “
? Hoffman-
Unfortunately, since we were little, we are taught that we must “study a lot to achieve things. “Be someone in life, be the best, why else did we?A lot of bad things can happen! Like, for example: not living up to the task of a conversation, not having a decent job, not succeeding What will others think?We’d be doomed to a mediocre life!
Imagine how a child feels when these ideas are presented to him. You will grow up distressed to become number one and constantly prove that you are good. You’ll choose to compete with others to “get there,” rather than competing with yourself for challenges and fun. Will the child grow up to become an anxious person, who will perceive as a threat the fact that his worth is not recognized?What a burden, isn’t it?
To dismantle an acquired belief, we must make arguments that convince us that what we think is totally irrational, unrealistic, absurd, and therefore we must reject and replace it with healthier beliefs. Some arguments you can use are:
It is that we strive to be perfect, to know, to know and to know until we reach an imaginary goal that does not exist, that is alone in our head. Let’s accept the real thing: we are all ignorant in a multitude of things and the result is that absolutely nothing happens, the world keeps spinning.
But fortunately, there are many very well-meaning people in the world, who appreciate authentic people, who are shown as they really are, people who recognize that they are not good at everything, but who are willing to have fun learning. They’re really heroic people.
Obviously, if we live life with this mindset, our relationships with others will benefit greatly: we will not go into silly debates or discussions to get to the truth or to be right, we will only enjoy and learn something, because we all have something to do. Learn. .
We must ignore this fear that warns us that something bad will happen if we do not know how to answer a question or fail: nothing will happen, you will still be alive despite this, so dare to perform these actions that give you shame or fear. : ask, raise your hand in the classroom, answer and learn what you don’t know.