When I’m okay, why do I go from sadness to anger so fast?These are the most frequently asked questions people who go through the grieving phases at the end of a relationship. Separation and bereavement are some of the most common reasons for consultation in the practice of psychology. with adults.
After a separation, people go through different phases that make up an image of grief, in this article we will explain the phases of grief at the end of a relationship and what characterizes each of them.
- It’s the beginning of the mourning.
- At this point the person simply does not believe.
- It is difficult to realize the loss and see the new situation.
- Emotionally.
- In the phase of impact or shock.
- There is no reaction and the person acts as if nothing had happened and everything was the same.
Is the denial phase more marked in the people they have been?And you can tell less among those who have “gone. “What is happening is that anyone who has decided to terminate the relationship and terminate it has already gone through a phase of denial and, therefore, anyone who steps to end the relationship has already worked on the new situation and shows no denial.
As soon as the person realizes the end and is able to visualize what will come, comes the next phase, that of denying the loss.
In the stages of mourning at the end of a relationship is denial, in this document the person becomes aware of what he has lost, but does not want to accept, refuses to accept that the relationship is over and fantasizes about the return. An example of this phase is the idea that the ending may have been a mistake or a tantrum that has become uncontrollable.
In the denial phase, the mind focuses on finding ways to solve problems and thus be able to resume the relationship. This phase has an adaptive function, which saves you time for?Digest loss, continue to comply with routine and obligations, and gradually become aware of changes that have already occurred and will occur.
At this point, the person begins to assume and live in his own skin what the term represents, begins to realize how his life has changed and will continue to change and all these consequences of loss are those that generate a deep sadness with a negative view of the world, the future and of himself.
This phase, therefore, is characterized by a psychological functioning after Beck’s Cognitive Triad and, from there, a state of deep sadness and symptoms of depression. Sadness is an emotion needed to truly cope with loss, and will help you connect with what happened and start gradually. to overcome suffering.
In the bereavement phases at the end of a relationship, the guilt phase is one of the most characteristic, that is, guilt does not present itself so strongly when faced with a different type of grief; however, in the duel for an ending, it is one of the most noticeable and complicated phases to overcome.
Guilt leads you to think about what you might have done or said so you don’t lose the relationship. Rumination and obsessive thinking aimed at finding the person responsible for the rupture can eventually psychologically exhaust the person and cause a great state of anxiety.
Putting 100% of the blame on a dismissal is counterproductive and above all very unfair, the couple is a team of two and the responsibility for dismissal is always shared, try to share the guilt you feel, understand that guilt as a shared responsibility direct your mind into the future.
After you stop feeling like it was all your fault and you can share responsibility for what happened, you’ll start to feel angry. In the grieving phases at the end between pairs, is the anger phase the most beneficial?Or?positive?because if something or someone makes us angry, we avoid it and try to get it out of our lives. And that during a layoff?
Why is anger the best that can happen to you as you cry over the end of the relationship?Because anger, well conducted, is a very powerful engine, first of all it takes you away from that person you lost and it is essential to have contact with an ex during the mourning phases causes people to get stuck in the phase of guilt or sadness, barely allowing them to move forward.
In the future, they may be friends, but not during the duel. Anger therefore helps a person stay away from those who hurt them. Use your anger to improve on a personal level, to think more about yourself, and to take care of yourself. But be careful, don’t get stuck at this stage: if you do, the same rage that protected you will turn you around.
If you have experienced and used anger correctly, now you can move on to the acceptance phase, the emotions at this stage are not entirely positive or rewarding, they are emotions that allow you to see what happened as an experience in the history of your life. , with its negative and positive aspects.
People in the acceptance phase begin to take responsibility for what happened, to think about themselves and to direct their mind towards the future and not towards the past or loss. Acceptance is the definitive way to overcome the termination and helps us to think in building a future for us and for us.
Finally, it is important to note that the bereavement phases at the end of a relationship are not linear or correlated, which is particularly noticeable at the beginning of the duel, i. e. the more recent the loss, the more mutant the loss. You can go from phase 1 to phase 3 and then to 2 and then to 4. As you face loss and feel pain, you’ll see that the opposite becomes rarer and progresses more often: you no longer feel so uncomfortable and start looking to the future with other eyes.