Many surveys have been conducted to answer the question: what are the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives?One is very famous. It was performed with people close to death, either by terminal illness or by old age.
Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who specializes in palliative care for terminally ill patients, decided to apply directly, she knew that people are much more honest and mature when they feel that life is coming to an end. , most of them’ response was almost always the same: not having lived long enough.
- What good is repentance if it does not erase anything that happened?Is the best repentance changing? José Saramago?.
Ware felt that all these answers were a great revelation to her and decided to write a book in which she compiled what her patients had said and discovered that five specific facts were among the most common laments of people at the end of life.
When Bronnie Ware asked her patients, almost all of the answers included the phrase “I wish I had. “In other words, most people regret what they didn’t do, rather than what they did.
The five most common responses indicate that the most common regrets are:
As we can see, most regrets have to do with what remains to be done. In this list, there are no regrets for what went wrong or for mistakes made.
Cornell University conducted a more structured study of people’s most common regrets and motivations. As with Bronnie Ware’s informal interviews, most people said they regretted doing nothing. In these cases, the researchers went further and discussed the reasons why this happened.
According to Thomas Gilovich and Shai Davidai, head of the research directorate, it’s all about the concept of?Should it be? And with the ‘ideal self’. The duty to be, as the name suggests, is linked to what everyone thinks is just and morally desirable, is the realm of ethical duty, according to the beliefs and values of each one.
In turn, the ideal self corresponds to what everyone wants to be, w. a. w. or not to be, in the ideal self there are dreams, expectations and, of course, ideals, it is the model to become who we are. would like to become.
Based on the concepts of?Should it be? And the “ideal self,” Cornell researchers have come to an interesting conclusion. When it’s duty to be betrayed, there’s a kind of “burden of conscience. “Inmediato. Es why people seek to repair or treat this repentance with specific measures.
Let’s look at this with an example. One person did not go to visit a guy who was about to die, even though he knew he needed help; when the person dies, he feels a deep sorrow at not fulfilling his duty to be. , it’s a reflection. Consider why you didn’t and maybe cry at the funeral, or ask for forgiveness symbolically for what you missed.
Ideal me, this doesn’t happen, because people don’t perform rituals to forgive themselves for not being the most famous astronaut, or for not having decided to embark on a ship that was going to Antarctica, this is left in their consciousness simply as an illusion. that hasn’t taken shape.
At the end of life, the person regrets not having made it happen, because it is a way of coping with what has not been and will never be.