For decades, psychologists have focused on studying the negative aspects of humans, such as pathologies or diseases, however, in recent years, so-called positive psychology has delved into people’s positive psychological characteristics and states, such as feelings of happiness.
A sense of humor, affection, resilience, love, harmony, and gratitude are psychological and emotional aspects that will help us achieve our goals and transform into positive emotional carriers, but how often and intensely do we need to experience these emotions to be happy?
- Some authors define positive emotions as those in which pleasure or well-being predominates and which allow to cultivate positive points and personal virtues.
- Both aspects necessarily lead to happiness.
However, classifying emotions as positive or negative carries certain risks, for example, sadness does not always have a connotation as negative as you usually think, feeling sad for the loss of a loved one, besides natural, is adaptive, necessary and demonstrates the maturity of the person, it is undeniable that such emotions do not have to be harmful , they are not really very pleasant and feeling them leaves us quite often in an undesirable emotional state.
Happiness is a state of mind, an emotional state, and a state of mind, but how do you define a happy person?To do this, it is possible to refer to your emotions and the degree of pleasure or discontent they provoke in it.
In Eudaimonic terms (“happiness”), happier people are not those who experience the most intensely pleasurable emotions, but those who often have positive emotions of moderate intensity. High-intensity rewarding moments are rare, even for the happiest people. happiness is associated with a sense of inner realization and psychological well-being.
If we ask the men and women around us if they are really happy, they will surely name specific events that have made them feel a momentary ecstasy, for example, the birth of a child or the purchase of a new home are events usually associated with moments of joy, satisfaction and fullness.
But be careful! Such events do not usually occur often, so basing a life’s happiness on the hope of extraordinary events can lead to unhappiness.
The feeling of happiness is felt by people who often enjoy positive emotions with moderate intensity.
Constantly seeking the sublime or pleasure and in any aspect of life leads us to error, even when the desired results are achieved. People who always seek maximum happiness or pleasure, tend to change partners repeatedly and compulsively, from employment, and do not. establish long-term friendly relationships.
They still live in a thought based on ‘not enough’ and there will not always be a better time. It is precisely this relentless pursuit of excellence and this addictive non-compliance that despairs and fills them.
However, the search for these specific moments of maximum well-being should not be confused with the rejection of happiness. Many people do not accept certain aspects of life because they think that in life there is an imposed balance (“karma”), based on the law of cause and effect, so that a good stage of life is inevitably followed by a bad one. luck.
Something similar happens with experiences that cause a lot of fun, having experienced a moment of intense enthusiasm can be a disadvantage if it serves as a reference to compare other positive experiences, that is, something that at first glance is a pleasant event can become a somewhat enjoyable event when compared to a past event that was spectacular. In this sense, we cannot forget that we are heirs to a way of thinking that combines pleasure, especially when it was very high, with sin.
Between men and women, there are also differences in expression and way of feeling emotions. Numerous studies have shown that women experience more emotions: more often and intensely than men. Among emotions of negative value, they tend to feel more fear and sadness. than them.
It is interesting to analyze how many of the couples’ discussions are related to men’s complaints about women in general and vice versa, the issues revolve around the fact that men do not express their emotions enough and that women are very emotional: Is it impossible?to understand if you don’t tell me how you feel or ‘not so much, you’re too sensitive. ‘
For this reason, knowing that men do not express their emotions because they literally do not feel them as often or intensely as women can build more bridges between the two sexes, help mutual understanding and contribute to resolution. different aspects of such conflicts.
When we reach a goal we feel satisfaction, but if we do not know how to handle this feeling, beyond the immediate and the momentary, it can disappear very quickly, for example, the joy of getting a pay raise can be delegated to the Fund if you give it more importance and you get very gloomy when you have to look for a parking space.
To achieve happiness and maintain an adequate pace of moderate intensity emotions, it is necessary to give importance to each event. Moderation, balance, prudence and relativization are fundamental aspects in order to properly manage our feelings.