We tend to reject, label and condemn the unknown. For this reason (among other possible reasons), for many people, BDSM practices, fetishism or the exchange of partners, among others, are not part of what is generally considered a “normal sex”.
The DSM, the most accepted diagnostic manual, can have a lot to do with this view. For example, in this manual until 1973, homosexuality was still considered “deviant” behavior. Similarly, as sexual values evolved, other sexual behaviors ceased to be. considered deviated, such as those mentioned in the preceding paragraph.
- THE DSM-V considers that sexual sadism.
- Sexual masochism.
- Fetishism and cross-dressing.
- Among others.
- Degrade a person’s life.
But is the debate about what normal sex is or not still current in society and, despite much progress, qualifications?Or “bad” are always present. But is there a pattern of sexual behavior?
Every sexual experience is different. It depends on who participates, their preferences and their fantasies, there is nothing negative, dirty or perverse if the people involved agree, if they do not jeopardize the physical integrity of any of the people involved in the experiment, and especially if people voluntarily participate in it.
However, the pressure from society is so strong that people tend to repress everything that is not socially accepted for fear of reprisals, not integrating and being disapproved of by others, this is what happened with homosexuality. However, at present, sadomasochistic practices or different types of fetishism continue to be labeled as abnormal and particular behaviors of sick minds.
Our sexuality is unique. In it we can let all our fantasies and desires flow, there are not many limits. However, the definitions of society tarnish its true nature, in an attempt to make it something more “acceptable”, better seen, a purer act.
All of this can lead people to reject their own desires, to the point where they begin to feel bad about it. For example, someone who enjoys practicing BDSM may have feelings of guilt because in their mind this practice is not part of what it is. considered a “normal sex. ” This can prevent the person from living their sexuality to the fullest, without repressing or embarrassing.
The normal is nothing more than a justification for what is rejected and not to be accepted.
Can we think of normal sex, like what happens to beauty standards, both evolve over time and pose many problems to people who do not adapt to them, we do not realize that if everything changes, everything goes, what is not accepted today, maybe tomorrow it will be.
Terri Fisher, a professor of psychology at Ohio State University, conducted a study (published in sex roles) of men and women to see if they were concerned about the norms society and culture dictate about sex.
Professor Fisher discovered that participants had lied in their responses about their sexual behavior, which was verified because participants were subjected to a lie detector and forced to tell the truth; for example, it was found that men reported having fewer sexual partners than them. actually had and more women. However, the answers were completely opposite when people were not connected to the detector.
This difference in responses was also present when participants were asked about their sexual behaviors (loyalty, monogamy, etc. ).
Participants in Professor Fisher’s study lied for one reason: the need to adapt to their gender role.
We are ashamed to acknowledge who we really are, what we do and how we live our sexuality. We lie to ourselves to appear “normal” so that we can adjust to the gender role that has been imposed on us since we were children. lied about sexual partners when they weren’t hooked up to the lie detector to fit the model that society is trying to impose.
Women lied to convey an image that could not be related to a phrase still very present in everyday life?A man who stays with a lot of women is a hero, but if a woman stays with a lot of men, she’s a whore?
We are still a long way from pointing the finger and labeling people based on a number of opinions, in an attitude far from respectful. In this sense, do not accept sexuality in any of its variants, classify certain practices as aberrations or people as “perverted”. Many people have to put on a mask or hide to feel that they can integrate into society.