Few activities are able to bring us good energy as a positive conversation, they are conversations in which they feel heard and also want to listen. The words? Click? And he knows the echo of these words remains pleasant and cheerful. These conversations are like a real balm for life.
The opposite also happens. When you talk and feel that they don’t understand you, or that it saturates you when you have to listen to the other, there are negative messages between the lines and sometimes direct aggression, these encounters only make us angry and sad.
- We all know from experience that a positive conversation is a wonderful gift.
- The novelty is that science has confirmed it through various studies.
- Constructive dialogue has proven to have the ability to modify brain patterns.
- The contribution of this type of conversation is also reflected in our neurochemistry.
“We are looking for someone to enlighten his thoughts, another to help him: this is how a good conversation is born” – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche-
Mark Waldman and Andrew Newberg are two researchers in human behavior; the first is a professor of communication and a member of the Executive MBA program at the University of California; the second, director of Thomas Jefferson University’s Myrna Brind Center for Integrated Medicine. The two conducted extensive research and wrote together a book entitled “Words Can Change Your Brain. “
The research of these two experts contains very interesting data on positive words and conversations. They found, for example, that the word?No?, activates the production of cortisol, the stress hormone, which alerts us and weakens our cognitive abilities.
On the other hand, the word? It causes the release of dopamine, a brain hormone that regulates reward mechanisms, producing a sense of well-being and reinforces a positive attitude towards communication.
The example of words? Yes, and no? This is only a small part of Waldman and Newberg’s research, which through several experiments have been able to scientifically demonstrate that words transform our brains and, of course, positive or negative conversations as well.
They realized that some people use more words that have negative effects on the brain; others, on the other hand, use more constructive words. In both cases they do so without conscience, the truth is that the two leave different feelings in their interlocutors.
It is also interesting to note that in a study conducted by the CreatingWE Institute something similar was found, in this case the effect of the comments of the bosses on their employees was studied, who found that expressions of affection increased the production of oxytocin. Not only that, they also allowed the team to increase their intellectual capacity and become more productive.
Waldman and Newberg have invented a concept that is already conquering their space. They call it “compassionate communication. ” This concept refers to the type of communication in which respect for others and sincerity prevail, precisely the type of communication that occurs when you participate in a positive conversation.
Researchers also discovered one of the cognitive components that characterize positive conversation: people understand better when ideas are expressed separately, i. e. there is a greater guarantee of understanding if multiple topics are not addressed at once; However, channels should not include more than four ideas In addition, it should take at least 30 to 40 seconds to move from one topic to another.
Waldman and Newberg also found that certain words have a profound impact on people. Basically the words poverty, disease, loneliness or death. Such expressions affect the amygdala and facilitate the activation of negative thoughts. However, they also found that the effect they produce can be reduced. It is sufficient that these words are neither at the beginning nor at the end of a sentence.
Since it is impossible to remove negative words from life, it is more appropriate to compensate them with positive words, so do conversations. When a communication is negative, it must be compensated by a positive conversation, allowing you to balance not only communication, but also brain chemistry.