Parents who ask too much simply want their children to do their best, the problem is that they do not encourage them in the most appropriate way: they forget how children perceive and receive these requests, so what they achieve is precisely the opposite effect.
Many parents who demand too much of their children had parents who did the same to them. Nothing seemed enough; there was a dissatisfaction that was not reduced to notes. If they played any sport, they were never good enough. There was always one?Can you get better?.
- As this was the environment in which they were educated.
- They see in this how they should educate their children.
- However.
- This decision has serious consequences.
Children with demanding parents try to meet their expectations; unfortunately, as nothing they do seems to matter, they begin to feel a sense of disappointment and even guilt; In addition, children may begin to demand too much of themselves, far beyond their own opportunities. or the resources they currently depend on. This can trigger stress and anxiety.
It’s very serious. According to the ANAR Foundation (Help children and adolescents at risk, Spanish organization)?[?] A certain personality structure (self-demand, need for control, search for perfectionism?) Can you determine the onset of certain eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia ?.
If a child’s parents told you, would it be surprising if you got a 7 in math?And when he does, they say, do you see how you do it?Now you have to try to get 9?, It will be difficult for the child to feel that what he has achieved has made his parents proud.
This may not happen at first, but over time, parents may require a 10 when their child gets 9 and then wants him to get that grade in all subjects. This will eventually cause the child to explode.
It’s a habit that becomes destructive when parents suggest they’ll love their child more when he scores higher. We are talking about a demanding environment that can be ideal for the development of evoked disorders, anorexia and bulimia.
However, this is not the only way children whose parents are too demanding can react.
“A universal lesson related to parenting: it’s a good idea to give them a break from time to time. “-Mary Beard-
Children whose parents are too demanding may not respond to their parents’ pressure.
The newspaper La Vanguardia published a phrase by Isabel Menéndez (psychologist specializing in children and adolescents) in which she explains very well what happens when children are subjected to high demand for a long time: “When you ask too much, you cause stress in children”. . Children, when they reach adolescence and the most difficult courses of higher education, many end up breaking [?] Why are they tired, tired and rebellious?.
As nothing they do is enough, children can start to show different attitudes, they can vary because each person’s personality is different, however, in addition to the problems already mentioned, here are some warning signs that warn you that something is wrong:
There are many variables, but children can’t always be alert, seeking recognition and trying to meet their parents’ expectations.
Sooner or later they end up immersing themselves in deep sadness or automatically positioning themselves at their parents’ expectations, as they have been associated with frustration. The problem is that, in both reactions, there are sad consequences arising from the request received. .
Children often interrupt their studies or abandon the sport they loved so much, throw in the towel because they can no longer do it, the pressure outweighs them. Therefore, if discerning parents try to motivate and encourage their children to do their best, in the vast majority of cases, they can only achieve the opposite effect.