Unrequited love is probably one of the most painful situations we can experience in life. Whoever has lived it knows it and has felt it with all its being.
That’s why, in turn, this is the clearest opportunity we have to learn various lessons about ourselves. When we are in full emotional feeling, we are much more fragile and hypersensitive to what is happening.
- Experiencing this situation can be traumatic and painful.
- But it can also be rewarding and enlightening.
- We certainly get a unique perspective in which we face different facets that we didn’t think we had.
Suddenly, time stops and our heart rate accelerates every time we think of this loved one for which we have a total fixation.
Melancholy is the faithful companion of unrequited love, it is the sickness of the dissatisfied lover, because of the lack of correspondence, desire and the constant need for fusion.
“Any lover whose love is sincere and who cannot enjoy loving union, either out of separation, out of contempt for the beloved, or for keeping secret his feelings, moved by any circumstance, must reach the borders by force. Illness and exhaustion and tiredness, which sometimes forces you to stay in bed. -Ibn Hazm-
We would like to share everything we live with this person, everything reminds us, all the places where he has passed become sacred, we exalt and alter when we contemplate him, even if it is a fantasy.
We expect minimal contact with her, and the result ends up being nostalgic: a sadness installed deep in our hearts is when we feel the true loneliness of not being with whom we so desire.
This disease, like the melancholy of love, comes from precisely the only thing that could remedy it: to be loved.
It is inevitable, throughout this process in which we feel a deep love, that frustration invades us with expectations, illusions and fantasies that are not enough to satisfy the passage of time.
Non-love correspondence can occur in the face of a passion of those who do not, and it can also occur in the face of a love where there has been abandonment after prior mutual love.
In both cases, the intensity of frustration can cause a number of problems, both physical and psychological, because of self-destruction that involves maintaining indefinitely unmet illusion and hope.
When do you lose hope and desire to be with the other person?This is a question that could be answered by those who have experienced this situation, however, there is a peculiarity: the answer and resolution will be different with each of the relatives.
This whole process of maturity and self-awareness ends with acceptance, so that we can assimilate and understand that love is not controllable, it does not depend on our will, and therefore that the other person cannot feel it even if he wants it.
“Not being loved is a mere misfortune; the true shame is not loving. ? – Albert Camus-
Just as we can’t help but feel it when we want to, we can only see how it changes in relation to the way it’s experienced.
Love is part of spiritual issues and cannot be intellectualized, it is a deep joy that floods us and fills us with joy and desire, we feel that nothing matters more than the well-being of the person we love.
Only the one who loves in this situation knows where his limit is, the moment when he will have to surrender to the acceptance of reality.
When despair, discomfort and melancholy are lived with great intensity, without reaching return, we let these feelings die that do not imply an end, but a transformation in the relationship.
Regret having loved and not coming back is a great ingratitude, because feeling what it is like to love is the most beautiful gift that can be achieved, its magnitude and intensity make our soul flourish and also sculpt us through the wounds.