Wanting and not being able to is a feeling that many women experience during sex, looking for an orgasm that is not given or feeling very light is a difficulty that many women face today.
Orgasm is of undeniable importance in relationships, it is the top of the mountain of pleasure, and although enjoying the road is as important as reaching the end, it is pleasant and rewarding to complete the ascent and enjoy the landscape offered by the mountain. .
- Not being able to reach orgasm is a big nuisance.
- In many cases the person is ashamed.
- Avoids talking about it and refuses to ask for help.
- In this way it becomes a chronic problem.
- Never finding a solution.
It is much more common than you think you have ever felt this explosive sensation, in fact, about 10% of women have never experienced an orgasm in their life and between 10 and 42% have difficulty reaching climax. Reaching orgasm is known, it is the most common sexual dysfunction in women.
In this sexual dysfunction there is a delay or absence of orgasm, or even very mild sensations of pleasure, is not fortuitous, presents for a long time, causing a great discomfort and discomfort in the woman.
‘Anorgasmia is called absence or delay of orgasm, after an arousal phase during sexual activity deemed appropriate in terms of stimulation, intensity and duration. ‘
-Psychopathology manual. Belloch-
The differences between one woman and another, or the same woman in different situations, are always considerable, some days this can be much easier, while others, by pressure, stress or any other problem, can be impossible.
It is also very common during sex not to reach orgasm through vaginal penetration. Most women need manual clitoral stimulation to successfully end the relationship. Few women can reach orgasm with a single vaginal penetration.
Not reaching orgasm during sex is not enough to diagnose anorgasmia. This term is used for more general difficulties, when the person cannot complete despite proper stimulation.
Having difficulty reaching orgasm doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, many women don’t reach the climax, but they love and are satisfied with their sexual intercourse, they enjoy the moment and contact with the other that the relationship itself offers.
We tend to simplify sexuality when we believe that sex is just penetration and measure its success by the amount and intensity of orgasms. Sexuality is a much wider world, where the varied practices and personal characteristics of each come into play.
Orgasm or sex is only part of sexuality, feeling attractive, not believing that only men should take initiative, sexual preferences, our rights and freedoms, an affective relationship or our own life project, are aspects that fall within what we call sexuality.
Most of the causes of anorgasmia, about 95% of them, are psychological in nature, very restrictive education, unpleasant sexual experiences, the culture in which we were educated, the fear of losing control, inadequate stimulation or stress can influence and aggravate the problem.
The fact that this difficulty has mainly a psychological origin shows that everything we do or think plays a fundamental role in the way we experience pleasure. Therefore, it is possible to improve ourselves by simply changing the way we perceive or act between ourselves and ourselves in these situations.
Manual masturbation or stimulation of the clitoris during sex are specific techniques for this type of difficulty, sometimes it may be necessary to have sex or partner therapy to solve the problem.
If you have this difficulty, you’ve tried to fix it yourself and haven’t progressed, remember that a psychologist or sexologist can help you get the most out of your sexuality.