Building and being part of a relationship is not easy. It’s like a puzzle where we have to adapt corners with voids, fears with needs, desires with frustrations, but it is an adventure that deserves to be lived at any age and at all times, because it nourishes, builds and, at the same time. time, makes us learn as people.
If we did an investigation to find out what is most troubling or that makes couples move away, we would have the answer, no doubt, the misunderstanding “Don’t you understand me?”Or “You don’t see it. “
- It may be true that “men come from Mars and the women of Venus”.
- Who knows.
- But the interesting thing is that.
- In many of these behaviors.
- There is a clear “emotional denial”.
- That is.
- There are people who realize that something is missing.
- That something is happening and yet they choose not to see.
- Turn around.
- Not talk?.
Emotional denial is a defense mechanism by which we avoid recognizing that there is a problem, let us talk today about this, this aspect so common in our romantic relationships.
Emotional denial can manifest itself in different ways, let’s look at some very clear examples:
Think of a woman who, every day, feels suffocated by her misfortune, but refuses to acknowledge such a feeling. She lives with a couple who love her and has lived with her for several years, however, there are some aspects that in the past were insignificant, but which have now become huge black holes. He is an ironic man who tends to ridicule his wife. and despise her, both in public and at home, makes it as if it were a joke, but her self-esteem has declined unbelievably.
However, she tells herself that her partner does not do these things with bad intentions, that she knows that he loves her, that it is only her way of being, that there is no abuse, would certainly be a place of doubt about a very clear kind of emotional denial. She herself justifies her partner’s behavior, denying the reality of the problem, her misfortune, her low self-esteem and her humiliation.
In this second case, we have a young woman who no longer felt the attraction she felt at the beginning of her relationship, you no longer feel dreamy, you no longer have fun with your partner, however, he dares not expose this feeling. to his partner and expects him to perceive it alone.
What’s going on? Your partner knows something’s going on, but he’d rather not see the problem and hide it like he doesn’t notice. Opt for emotional denial so as not to emphasize the fact that you need to deal with the situation.
As you can see, the dimension of emotional denial, or “nothing happens”, is actually a very common defense mechanism when it comes to relationships; it is a clear example of insecurity and immaturity, where many personal fears are hidden.
We can all practice emotional denial, or see how our partner often uses it so as not to deal with certain things How do we dissolve or eliminate this frustrating defense mechanism?
Consider these aspects
1. To understand, first of all, that denial is a defense mechanism, that is, its purpose is to protect us, to put a blindfold on us, but in the long run it ends up hurting us.
2. Si your partner does this, make him understand that making a blind eye to the evidence will not make things any better; However, keep in mind that it won’t be easy for your partner to admit that they practice denial every day in their life. You’ll find a lot of opposition.
3. You must use confrontation. In the face of denial, it offers evidence. “Don’t you realize that behaving like this hurts me?Don’t you realize that if I go down this road, I’ll stay away from you?Each action has a consequence, especially in romantic relationships, where the balance of forces is always necessary to invest, if one offers more than the other, or if there is one that always loses, the relationship will deteriorate day by day.
4. To face emotional denial we will go through the same process of mourning, that is, first the misunderstanding, then the anger, but gradually the problem will be repeated in all its reality, and then it will face with all its strength With courage.
Problems deserve to be addressed.