What I want people to understand about the loss of a child is that no one is prepared for it. From there, and first of all, I would like to recommend something very essential and wonderful: we have to enjoy every moment with the people we love. Nothing in this life is safe, nothing is guaranteed, not even that children will survive their parents.
If there is one aspect that all people who have suffered the loss of a child have, it is the feeling of loneliness and misunderstanding that they feel in the first moments. Many feel isolated because they think no one can understand their pain.
- Losing a child means.
- Above all.
- Feeling that something has escaped from our life project.
- From our imagination.
- However.
- There will always come a day when we will discover that life continues to be worth it.
- Because it means keeping memories.
First of all, it must be said that there are no strategies that can serve us all in the same way when it comes to lamenting the loss of a child.
However, what must be borne in mind is that we must not face all this alone, the family nucleus must remain united and help each other, heal and learn to live with this emptiness, orienting themselves anew day by day. These simple reflections that we want to share with you today are worth keeping in mind.
The loss of a child makes everything stop overnight. It is unnatural, that our mind is incapable of understanding. And we’re still out of breath, like we don’t have a soul?
Is it the most recurrent thought parents feel classic?’Nothing makes sense. ‘ And vital, emotional and motivational paralysis can end up trapping us in chronic suffering.
That’s something we should avoid. Our mind is unable to deal with what happened, denials, blockade and immobility, yet the grieving process itself must help us manage all these emotions.
We must avoid isolation, because loneliness in itself leads to paralysis, so it is vital to have the help of family, friends and any health professional to help us cope with the situation.
To say that it is possible to overcome the death of a child is not true, defeat is to overcome and no one can and should not neglect the absence of a void rooted in our own essence as a person.
Losing a child is about seeing how a couple’s vital and family project is suddenly orphaned, the void is immense, and the bonds are no longer the same, but that’s why we must not stop fighting for this project.
Children perceive death in a very different way from our own and we cannot neglect their own processes, especially if they are between 6 and 10 years old.
Death is something that no one understands, something adults get angry about and children don’t understand, death doesn’t always allow goodbyes, so you have to give way to memories, with daily affection for that person’s memory.
Children are advised to express their words, answer their doubts, and encourage their emotional outburst, without hiding our own regrets. Pain must take shape to be released and channeled.
We have to start having projects every day, that allows us to smile again with the children, honoring the memory of the one who is no longer there, we will learn to live without this child, but he will never lose that privileged corner of our hearts Life will be different after this loss, there is no doubt about it, but we must allow ourselves to be happy.
Image credits: Lucy Campbell, Claudia Tremblay.