All couples go through times when they have to deal with decision-making in relationships, they are decisions that, however important, create a situation in which it is necessary to negotiate.
Even if we work with our partner, it is normal that we do not agree with everything and that there are differences when making a decision.
- In addition.
- Decision-making in relationships is more than defending or against “something” because making a couple’s decision is proof of the solidity and harmony of the union.
Therefore, in this article we will try to identify the variables that influence decision making in relationships and problems that can arise when you need to choose a path, risk, make a big change or miss an opportunity.
In this regard, we will focus on the most important and frequent decisions in which there may be a conflict:
The image you have of yourself and the ability to feel that your opinion is valid and affects the entire relationship decision-making process.
If you are a confident person, you will have enough support to defend your beliefs and influence the final decision.
In other words, a person who has self-confidence has an active role in the choices that are made between the couple, while a person who needs awareness will always be in the shadow of what the other says or decides.
Likes, self-confidence helps the person not to be silent for fear of rejection, to position themselves above fear in the face of a sensitive problem in the relationship is the secret to having a voice and a vote in the decisions to be made.
Unsafe people sacrifice their influence to be good; that is, they tend to say what others want to hear or what avoids conflict.
On the other hand, when a common decision is needed, a key aspect is the place of the other person in their ideal of future or life project, so the decision-making process is based more on the future. that in the present what does that mean?
That the potential we see in the couple plays a very important role in accompanying us on a new path, good examples of this are the desire to have children, to marry, to live together, etc.
Decision-making in a relationship is based more on the expectations we make in our minds than on the reality we live with that person.
In this sense, in his theory of love, Sternberg said that three components are necessary for a complete and mature love to exist, and one of these components is commitment, it does not refer to legal, loyalty or relational commitment, but to the future. commitment to the relationship.
Thus, for decision-making to be a successful process, there must be a commitment: to work as a team to achieve common goals.
“Decision-making in one relationship is based more on the expectations we make in our minds than on the reality we live with the other person.
Good communicative skills are fundamental to sharing fears, doubts, expectations and desires, think that verbalizing everything that goes through your head and that you contribute in one way or another to the thoughtful process of pre-decision will have a constructive potential: sum.
It is not necessary to say everything that is thought, however, it is necessary to think and feel everything that is said, otherwise it will give way to an ambivalent and unclear communication in which there will be a lot of room for interpretation, an element dangerous to the life of the couple.
In addition, the recipient of your messages should be able to understand what you are trying to convey with the meaning you want to convey. In other words, the other must understand what you’re saying, to know why it’s important to you. In this sense, nonverbal communication also plays an important role.
It is impossible not to communicate, and in the context of couple decision-making, what we say must be consistent with the other elements we express.
In this sense, any inconsistency can lead to a misunderstanding that can generate noise (malaise), such as being happy to plan a wedding and thinking deeply that marriage leads couples to failure.
“It is impossible not to communicate, and in the context of decision making as a couple, what we say must be consistent with what we are showing. “
Finally, I would like to emphasize that the decision as a couple must be a process shared by those who form it, the fact that this happens in this way is a predictor of a more lasting and satisfying couple’s life, according to research conducted by Kamp. Dush and Taylor in 2011 from Ohio University.
On the other hand, it is also necessary to make an effort to limit the external influences that can enter the decision-making process in relationships, so we must prioritize what the couple feels, leaving in the background the motivation to please others. .