Julio is a very successful man in his work, it is said that from a very young time he enjoyed things well done and that he had hours and hours left for his homework and class work to be impeccable, defines himself as organized, clean and perfectionist.
In his own words: “Either something is perfectly done or it is not done, and it will have to be done again. “He likes details and things maintain harmony, routine and consistency. He thinks that the way he does things is what has led him to the success he is currently experiencing in his professional life, even if he believes it is not enough.
- Seen through these lenses.
- Can we see Julius as a successful man.
- Evaluated very positively in his work.
- Hardworking.
- Organized?No problem.
- But the reality is that Julio’s personality sinks into other areas of his life.
- Julio suffers from what is called an ancastic personality.
A person with this type of personality is defined by his high perfectionism and his mastery of situations, being a perfectionist does not mean wanting and fighting for things to happen in the best possible way, that would be normal and desirable.
Being a perfectionist means that the person demands that everything he does be perfect, and because perfection does not exist, the person can spend hours and even days achieving something that others would do in much less time, so he tends to stop doing or postpone things for fear of not doing them perfectly.
Her desire for perfection never satisfies her with the results, because she always thinks it could be better and therefore there is a very great anxiety that makes her suffer and not profit from her gains.
The thinking of people with this type of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is called polarized thinking, that is, things are black or white, good or bad, the person is so rigid and uncompromising that he does not admit common points. they are perfect or failed, as they never find perfection, despite their successes, they end up seeing themselves as failures.
On the other hand, they are people who are dedicated exclusively to their work, they do not usually take vacations even if their boss forces them to do so, the work is an absolute priority, always taking the service home, without disconnecting or performing other activities. Obviously, because of this behavior, their social and affective relationships are greatly degraded, because leisure activities are not part of their projects, if for some reason they need to do so, they feel uncomfortable, as if they were wasting the time, time, time they could use to produce at work.
Relationships with co-workers are also difficult, as they are not able to delegate tasks to others or accept outside help, as they believe that no one is able to do things with that perspective. perfectionist than theirs.
We could say that in the face of all these characteristics, these people’s core belief is the need to do things perfectly and eliminate the intense fear and anguish of failing or making mistakes.
It is true that personality disorders are difficult to modify, but a good psychotherapy combined with medications could be of great help for these patients.
? It would be necessary to work wrong beliefs about perfectionism and control, the goal is for these people to learn and internalize that perfection is an unreal concept, that does not exist, to try to achieve something that does not exist only generates anxiety and frustration, which generates suffering, aggression and hostility and often leads to social isolation.
? The person has to work hard to make mistakes. The mistake is human and, as humans, we must be wrong, making mistakes leads us to learn and evolve in all aspects of our lives, making mistakes is nothing more. Seeing an error as an absolute failure is also unrealistic. We need to help the person get rid of this illusion and be more rational.
? Learning to enjoy social relations and leisure is also essential, these people feel that it is not necessary to enjoy leisure and activities outside of work, but the truth is that everyone needs to rest, disconnect from work and replenish strength and then perform better.
As human beings they also feel physically and mentally exhausted, so it is necessary to work with these ideas so that they understand that there is time for everything and that rest is necessary for physical and psychological well-being.
? What’s the worst thing that could happen to you if, in the end, you fail in this task?Thinking about this can help us demonstrate that we often form thoughts and mental images of disasters and dramas that are completely false and unreal.
An anxious mind with an ancastic personality generally thinks that something much worse will happen than reality, resulting in unnecessary suffering that makes it difficult to solve the problem.
Image source: http://amaltiempobuenapsique. com/2012/10/01/combate-el-perfeccionismo/