What is appreciated, even soon, is never forgotten, because there are loves whose memory we still love, for those dazzling kisses, those caresses full of desire and those looks that said everything without saying a word, are memories that Come back in secret, and if that love was fleeting, if it made us happy, it does not have to be considered a mistake.
Some say memory sometimes acts like a slow dog. We threw a bullet at him and he gives us back everything he finds along the way. The brain works with associations, which brings us back to memory that the chest is never accurate, spreading. many details to maintain the essence. However, it’s good to know that if there’s one thing you like it’s happy times.
- It is important to consider an important detail about good memories.
- What we value at a specific moment in our lives will only be significantly integrated into our emotional memories if we interpret this experience as transcendent and positive.
Believe it or not, sometimes it’s not really easy, especially when it comes to emotional relationships, because sometimes what was brief brings great seasons of tears, so how can we stay on the bright side of these vital moments?
Sonja Lyubomirsky is a renowned psychologist at the University of California who specializes in the study of happiness. With books like The Myths of Happiness? (The myths of happiness), offers us a different approach than usual in the field of positive psychology.
According to the author, in order to achieve well-being and our maximum personal potential, we must leave behind the past, because it is irrelevant to the present, to the present and now. If we can certainly understand this perspective, the truth is that it is very difficult to implement.
Human beings are memories, we are the taste of that first kiss, the smell of sweets that our grandmother made us, and we are also all the tears shed hidden in each of our disappointments. So, before you look for that magic pill? To erase bad memories, it is better to reinterpret them.
What deserves to be appreciated and grief deserves to be seen from another, more integrated, more harmonious angle. If a love was brief and you were disappointed, stay with the experience. If someone has betrayed you, remember what you’ve done. If you’ve made a mistake, don’t feed on failure. Take a deep breath and now use your mistakes as your best learning.
We already know that memory is selective, that it is not accurate and that it likes to interpret things in its own way. Now, as we pointed out at the beginning, if there’s one thing our brain is grateful for is that not only have we had pleasant experiences with you, but we’ve also made the effort to interpret. what we live in as a positive and enriching thing.
It is curious, for example, to see how, in some cases, the same experience may seem so different if interpreted from a different perspective. To understand a little better, let’s ask the case of going on vacation with our half. at his destination, bad weather hits every day of the holiday.
Then our half will talk about it as a feat of bad luck: it was a waste of money, we, on the other hand, interpret it differently, to the point of keeping this situation in our memory as something very significant. and special Despite the rain, it was possible to spend more privacy in the hotel room.
As we can infer, it would be wonderful for our well-being to have this natural willingness to see things with other eyes, with contact lenses with which we could readjust the experience in a more positive and rewarding way. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, suggests something that can certainly contribute to it.
In his book “Authentic Happiness,” he explains that one of the best exercises to give us positive memories is to give thanks for something every day. Can this seem ironic or even spiritual? Too much, but it’s actually a very effective exercise.
Thanking is like spending the experience through a filter, there’s always something, a trail, an almost imperceptible remnant, but it shines like diamond dust, that’s where the real know is, where the good is and what deserves to be remembered.
In the end, this memory dog we were talking about at first may not be so slow, even if it doesn’t bring us the ball we threw at it, it’s quite possible that it brings us something we wanted to recover: a significant memory of our memory that we now consider positive.
Because anyone who is able to remember the past painlessly has the opportunity to enjoy the present with passion.