Divorce or separation of parents is often a traumatic situation for children, the family, which they consider the fundamental core of life, separates without them being able to do anything, a period of sadness and uncertainty invades them, making them more vulnerable. Faced with this situation, some parents take advantage of it to get injured, causing parental alienation syndrome.
It seems inconceivable that such a selfish act can happen. Unfortunately, hatred and bitterness toward the exparement are sometimes stronger than common sense. Many parents are not even aware of the harm they are doing to their children by feeding their sense of helplessness. For them, their own suffering is more important than that of their children, who almost always come to the fore.
- Telling a child that his father doesn’t want to see him.
- Lie about him or insult the other trying to make the child lose respect for him are just a few examples of this kind of manipulation.
- Become problematic.
- Generating a possible pathological hatred towards the parent who is the victim of parental alienation.
Parental alienation syndrome is a type of child psychological abuse. This is called influence on children’s minds to change their perception of their parents.
This can happen from father to father or it can be used by both to hurt themselves. Alienating parents do not hesitate to ridicule the child if he expresses feelings for the other person. In fact, many use the family environment to reinforce the idea of contempt for their father or mother, being grandparents, uncles and friends complicit in this type of abuse.
“It is easier to raise strong children than to repair broken adults. Frederick Douglas?
In these cases it is also quite common to inform the child of the divorce, the intention is to victimize himself so that the child feels sorry for one and blames the other for what is going on, all this to provoke a personal revenge on The Child is the real victim and the one who must stay away from this toxic behavior.
The right thing about a divorce is how to separate the concepts, the fact that the other is a bad couple does not mean that you are a bad parent, although this may not be taken into account, for example, in cases where there has been marital violence. It makes sense that being abused by an ex-partner will create a dreadful fear that history will repeat itself among minors.
In other situations, separating children from the other parent may be a sign that separation or divorce is not being handled properly, indicating selfishness and a great lack of self-esteem, as well as a lack of sensitivity and empathy that will have an emotional impact. impact on your children.
It may also occur that the alienating parent has a certain type of personality disorder, the most related to these situations are narcissism and border-limiting personality disorder, but they are generally less recurrent.
Keep in mind that being accused of this type of child abuse in court can influence custody, before threatening the perpetrator with warnings to the police or social services, it is important to talk to him, make him understand that his way of acting is not right and that it is the child who suffers the most.
If the manipulative attitude persists, a judge must decide what to do. Children often refuse to live with the other parent because of unfounded hatred. Parental alienation syndrome is a very sensitive problem that, in most cases, requires psychological attention.
It has devastating effects on children. Anxiety and fear of contact with the other parent can affect their relationship with the other parent, as well as affect their emotional development.
Feeling ridiculed, misunderstood, or underestimated for expressing positive feelings toward the other parent also influences self-esteem. Many drag these traumas into adulthood, creating an irreconcilable gap between them and the affected father.
As we can see, parental alienation syndrome deserves special attention. A separation or divorce should not become a psychological battle between those who, at some point, made the decision to maintain a relationship.
It is best to focus on handling the situation in the best possible way, to avoid generating more damage, both in oneself and in others. Separating or divorcing is not pleasant, especially when the protagonists of the situation contribute to the aggravation of the situation.