Jill Churchill thinks there’s no way to be a perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good mother. With this delicate tenderness, this famous writer talks about the beauty of motherhood. But what happens when the mother really has no interest in being a mother?Toxic progenitor syndrome may occur.
The issue of motherhood today can cause a lot of discomfort. For many women, it’s the most wonderful thing that can happen to them in life. For others, it’s a beautiful thing that generates fascination. There are also those who did not want to get pregnant and give their children up for adoption or abandon them. And there is also a group of women who were taken to motherhood by different circumstances, but who, in fact, deep down in their being, never wanted to procreate.
“The hand that shakes the cradle rules the world. -Peter de Vries-
Psychologist Olga Carmona believes it is not easy to understand that there are women who have no interest in having children, many of us live in societies where not being a mother is not considered a valid option, however, this pressure will do more harm than good.
Precisely from this pressure evoked arises the figure of the toxic progenitor, in this group of women are those who have reached motherhood for reasons beyond their real and intimate will.
A toxic father is a woman who has just become a mother by social conventions or because she follows a scenario that seems to have been conceived in advance, a destination prefabricated by the environment, which creates a favorable inertia for it to be carried out.
As you can imagine, the consequences of suffering from toxic father syndrome are not pleasant, not only that, but in addition to affecting the woman he or she he or she, they also harm children and the nearest environment.
This makes it difficult for a toxic mother not to love her daughter or son unconditionally, for her to be a mother is far from the most beautiful thing that has happened to her, her descendants can be rivals, obstacles or problems. he could even project his most intimate desires into them, even going against the needs of the child.
This situation gives way to a woman who shows narcissistic behavior on several occasions, when she does not assume the role of mother can observe the world in a childish tone, filtering everything by her desires and needs, but in the worst case, the toxic father can become a very bitter woman. There is no choice but to witness her world move away from her true expectations and desires, which makes her deeply unhappy.
It makes sense to think that, after the mother he or she he himself, the children will be the most affected by toxic parenting, so often they end up being the scapegoat of his parents, the son ends up taking the blame for the woman’s misfortune. that gave birth to her, so they can suffer misfortunes, manipulations, misunderstandings, criticisms, humiliations and even cruel treatment.
There is nothing more painful for a child than not feeling loved and understood by his parents, but this type of toxic mother does not feel great empathy for her child, because her world is purely self-centered. In addition, it is common for the father to be toxic to highlight the defects and negative aspects of the child’s personality, especially those that bother the child the most?The child will never live up to it and will be criticized without compassion. Even his achievements can be seen with envy.
It makes sense to think that a toxic mother will end up permeating her misfortune around her, so it’s no wonder they try to nullify their children: be overprotective until exhaustion or get to the opposite end and don’t provide them with any support.
It is not uncommon for a toxic mother to prioritize a facade of respect for her child’s interests, so her application for her children can reach irrational levels, children should be faithful models of who they are or what they dream of being.
They can also use victimization and illness to use the child’s guilt and manipulate it as they wish, they can even reverse roles and show their children that they are the ones who should take care of the mother’s well-being, not the other way around. .
“The future of a child is always the work of his mother. -Napoleon Bonaparte-
Playing an unsused role and a role that carries as much burden as mother’s is not an easy task. Remember that in the world there are a handful of mothers who did not become mothers on their own or who were disappointed with the experience of motherhood. However, not everyone bitterly filled their lives or the lives of their children. In fact, many of them were able to make the most of the situation. That is why circumstances, while influential, are not definitive; so there is always hope and professional intervention can help them and their children.