There are people who put others first, they may even think that other people’s experiences are more important than their own, but they end up taking on the role of victims, that is, they are the ones who suffer the most and very intensely. This way of life is what psychology calls a complex martyr.
Psychology understands that the adoption of this attitude is practically voluntary; in fact, in a way, suffering and feelings of persecution fuel certain psychological needs; it is common for people to justify the martyr complex under the excuse of love, duty, or sacrifice.
- Interestingly.
- The pursuit of suffering also allows the martyr to feel a little better about himself.
- In his worldview.
- Pitying himself is an act of kindness.
- Because he avoids someone else or gives him more courage.
- Destructive scheme because it makes you ignore your own needs and find and perpetuate situations that cause you distress.
To identify someone who may have this complex, it is necessary to observe various behaviors, thoughts, and values. Among them:
Connecting with a person who has complex martyrdom is no easy task, because she is constantly talking about her difficulties and that can affect us considerably.
In addition, it may try to make you feel indebted when you help her, so to deal with these types of people, you should follow three simple strategies:
Harder than dealing with someone with a complex martyr is realizing it and acknowledging that you have it yourself. If you think you are doing so, evaluate your behavior as follows:
First of all, you have to realize and recognize that something is happening, because that is the most important step of change, so you have to look for other ways to act and understand that they will not make you a bad person.
Being accepted or loved is not determined by what you do, but by who you are. Seeking to please and meet everyone’s needs is a mental burden that leads nowhere.
Find different ways to interact in your relationships. Take a different role. Maybe it’s time to take the initiative, make your own decisions, and start taking care of yourself if you’ve been living your life so far.
In this process of change, it is essential to ask whether this is a balanced form of relationship, and it must also be asked whether it is up, down or next to each other.
Above all, take on your responsibilities and respect the freedom of others, it is time to accept your mistakes and understand that each person reacts and understands life differently, so that yours cannot depend on them.
Finally, talk to others about your change process. Surely they will understand and can even help make it easier and more bearable. However, be patient. There are people who may have taken advantage of this situation or simply need more time to adapt to their new way of doing things.