What is the narcissistic offer? Before we define it, let’s look at the narcissistic concept. After all, what does it mean to be a “narcissistic” person?
The DSM-5 defines narcissistic personality as a dominant model of greatness (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration and lack of empathy, which begins in the early stages of adult life and occurs in various contexts.
- Essentially.
- It manifests itself in feelings of greatness.
- Beliefs about oneself as “special” and unique.
- With an excessive need for admiration.
It should be noted that, according to psychiatrist Otto Kernberg, narcissistic personality is placed on a spectrum ranging from the “normal”. pathological disorder (narcissistic personality disorder, according to DSM-5).
Therefore, not everyone with narcissistic traits has a disorder, as it depends a lot on the degree to which they have the traits.
Here’s what to consider about the narcissist and his supply
The narcissistic person is characterized by the fact that he enjoys interpersonal relationships, that is, he takes advantage of others for his own purposes, regardless of what the other person may feel, his main objective is self-being. Thus, others become instruments.
They don’t want to know if their supply is going through a bad time or if they need their own space. The narcissist only thinks about meeting their needs, even if it means ignoring the needs of the other person.
Narcissistic offering is a concept introduced into psychoanalytic theory by Austrian psychoanalyst Otto Fenichel to describe a type of admiration, support or interpersonal support, extracted from an individual from his environment and which becomes an essential element of his self-esteem. I.
In this sense, according to the author’s definition, the narcissist needs a person to become his supply, his source of supply (which provides what cannot be given to himself). This source of supply becomes an extension of itself, as if it were part of that.
Therefore, there is no boundary between the ‘I’ of the narcissist and my ‘offer, that is, the narcissist assumes that his offer must feel, think and act like him, because the offer has no identity of its own and exists. to please him at all times.
The narcissist is looking for a source to regulate his low self-esteem as a means of supporting the “I”. Therefore, do you need to continually reaffirm the mask you have created: its greatness, its superiority, its unique and special character?Actually, under this mask, there’s someone insecure, with low self-esteem, who needs someone else to support him.
An article in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology states: “What attracts us at first sight is not necessarily what will make us happy in long-term relationships. Although narcissists have this bright and charming side, it is often only a matter of time before the black clouds appear. In short, there are two dimensions of the narcissist: the charming image and the image with unpleasant tones ?.
In other words, the narcissist is likely to show his most loving side to achieve his goal, and when someone doesn’t behave as expected, he’ll show his less pleasant side.
Is it possible that when he gets what he wants from you, he’s cold, selfless, evasive, irritable?Your change in attitude is encouraged by trying to provoke a reaction that generates the behavior you want.
For example, he expects you to meet him on a specific day and you can’t, so he’s distant because he couldn’t get you there as and when he needed it. Remember that your needs always come first.
In conclusion, the narcissistic offer sometimes ignores what happens to it, has no idea that it has become an offer.
Therefore, if you suspect that someone in your environment or yourself may be the victim of a narcissist, consider the following:
If this is the case, that is, if your needs are in the background, you may need to maintain certain boundaries with that person and protect yourself. Remember that you and your needs are important too.