The word happiness is one of the most used in the world, in today’s culture this is the greatest goal of many people, but it has not always been so, in the past the main purpose was virtue, offspring or property. In the modern era, however, the paradox of happiness has taken on the leading role.
The paradox of happiness is that almost everyone wants to be happy; however, if someone asks us what happiness is we will hardly be able to define it, if we take it a step further and wonder why we want to be happy the answer will probably be silence or hesitation, apparently the answer would be obvious because of the desired purpose.
- “The joy of living is always having something to do.
- Someone to love and something to look forward to.
- “Thomas Chalmers.
If we want to continue to complicate life, we could ask ourselves a third question: how is happiness achieved ?, many answers can appear, depending on the desires of each one. We will talk mainly about professional success, success and realization in the couple, but without defining in a concrete way what is the happiness that is sought or what is expected when it is found.
So, in short, we are at a time when almost everyone seeks happiness, but most do not know what it is or why it wants it and only has small suspicions about how to achieve it. This is the great paradox of happiness.
Dr. Iris B. Mauss, a professor at the University of Denver, has conducted two studies to study how happiness works in people, the results of which are really disconcerting and bring us closer to what is the paradox of happiness.
In the first study, he conducted an analysis of three aspects
The result was that people who valued happiness felt more dissatisfied, even though they had excellent external conditions in their lives. On the other hand, those who were more neutral or did not attach so much importance to the pursuit of happiness felt more satisfied; this happened even though the circumstances of these people’s lives were more difficult. These findings show the essence of the paradox of happiness.
The second study conducted at the University of Denver did something similar to the previous one, however, in this case they did not measure satisfaction, but how those who valued happiness and those who did not experience loneliness did.
The result was similar to that of the first study, those who sought happiness intensely felt more alone, while those who did not attach so much importance to this goal did not feel that feeling, that is, they did not feel particularly alone.
The initial conclusion in this regard is that those who are busy seeking happiness are too focused on themselves, their quest for success and success breaks the bond with others, reinforcing the feeling of loneliness. Once again, we can see here the paradox of happiness.
From these studies we can draw interesting conclusions, the first, and perhaps the most important, is that external conquests are not a source of happiness as such, that is why many people, when they get something they really want, feel a shame that leads them to propose a new goal, in an endless cycle.
Therefore, happiness is a process that takes place in ourselves, a reality that only has to do partially with external achievements, perhaps many seek this happiness relentlessly with the secret desire to end the discontent that lives in them. They do not realize that it is within them, not without, that they seek paradise or hell from which they are fleeing.
On the other hand, studies suggest that the idealization of the concept of happiness only brings frustration, people who accept that what we call happiness is only a part of life are lighter and may feel more satisfied, those who accept that a permanent state of happiness is not possible. To be desirable, because this aspiration is precisely the first condition for it not to exist, which helps us to more easily accept reality as it is and, therefore, to feel satisfied more often.
What we vaguely call happiness, that feeling of joy and satisfaction, is something that only happens from time to time, in any case, it is easier for her to visit us when we have made the decision to be the best version of ourselves.