Science has given many answers to this question, particularly over the past five decades. Some say it’s money, others say it’s religion, and others say family is the most important thing to have a happy life.
But, there is a factor that is repeated with some constancy and that generates a great controversy: the influence of childhood that we had on adult development. Thus, in our first years of life we acquire a way of seeing the world that we cannot easily detach or replace. On the other hand, this way of seeing the world will be influenced by an essential factor. Know what it is?
This factor is emotional connection, affection and attention. In a word, love.
This factor has recently been studied in a very specific way by Harvard researchers (Vaillant, 2012). His goal was to compare the effects of child financial wealth with child love. More than 200 men (yes, men only) have been followed for more than 70 years. In this follow-up, some interesting conclusions were reached.
They realized that children’s financial wealth has little to do with adult success, satisfaction and adaptation. Parents’ love and attention during childhood is a much more powerful positive indicator.
Some may ask: what is the problem of lack of love in some cases, don’t all parents naturally love their children?
In addition to feeling loved, a child needs to feel known to his parents, a child needs to feel that his parents know him and love him as he is: with his strengths and weaknesses, his personality traits, his preferences and his whims. You must feel that your parents see you and really know you.
It’s the only form of love that feels true and truly. It is the only kind of love generated by a child with good self-esteem, with a strong sense of identity.
One question that can often be asked is: “When you were little, did you know that your parents loved you?”Because you can know that someone loves you without really feeling it.
For example, if in addition to guaranteeing certain fundamental rights, education, clothing, food and housing?they talked to you, cared about you, asked you how you felt or motivated you, your parents really loved you and knew you.
If this is the case in your childhood, you probably have a good foundation for success in your life. You probably know yourself, have your own preferences, weaknesses, and strengths.
But if this wasn’t the case, you may not have received positive things from your childhood yet.
Doing well this introspection task can help not only integrate what’s holding us back, but also identify hidden or hidden elements that we haven’t seen so far.
Why is love so important in the early years of childhood?There are several reasons. Perhaps the first and most important is that it is the birth of trust, both in oneself and in others. We’re talking about blind trust, which you can deposit without having to watch your back.
Another no less important is the one that has to do with learning, who has received a healthy love has learned to give and express a healthy love, in addition, those who have developed this type of affection can see for themselves the effects of generosity, abandonment. unconditional support.
The one who received love enjoyed his childhood
What we can say is that a full childhood does not guarantee our success as adults, just as a childhood with mistreatment and sadness also does not condition us to failure, what is a fact is that people who received love from children and who felt protected and Beloved leave with a very important advantage when entering the adult world and having a happy life.
As adults, we are responsible for our children, but also for all children who play or cry today. As a society and as a humanity, we must be aware that what we plant in them today will probably guide their lives tomorrow.