If you look at the number of people who have a hard time trusting others, we can easily see that trust carries risks, means giving up security, risking the other person betraying us, and doing us a lot of harm. What drives us to do this act of faith?
In this dimension, there are very important individual differences: some people trust faster, compared to others who need time and a long list of tests to place that same trust, there are those who, first of all, always expect the best of others. , compared to those who expect, almost by default, to be betrayed. But is it just a matter of personality?
- Human beings are social beings and.
- As such.
- We need social interactions.
- Building meaningful relationships with other people is good for our health.
- And a sense of belonging is one of our basic needs.
- However.
- Socialization is rewarding for us and positively influences our self-esteem and well-being.
Thus, when it comes to strengthening ties and giving way to intimacy, trust in the other is a fundamental ingredient, it would not be possible to maintain any kind of relationship with others without a minimum of trust, so our social nature is of a social nature. our first motivations for trust.
On the other hand, the ability to trust the other is largely acquired, it is conditioned by our experiences in the first months of life, by the way in which the people around us have taught us to connect with others from the relationship. we set up with them. We’re talking about the quality of the first attachment links.
If these bonds had adequately, consistently and consistently met our needs, a foundation of trust with the world would be created in us; on the contrary, if the care and care we receive has been unpredictable and inconsistent, we will probably find it difficult to trust others.
In addition, all of our subsequent experiences will have helped to reaffirm or shape this initial trend. Our experiences in all the important relationships we have had contribute to increasing or undermining our capacity for trust.
Without a doubt, one of the factors that most influences the trust we place in others is time, when we have just met someone, we cannot fully trust him because we do not yet know his values and attitudes, over time we will be able to see what kind of person he is and how he behaves, from there we will increase our level of trust in him.
This happens even in relationships without any emotional component, let us think, for example, that we have just entered a new job, the most logical and expected thing is that, at first, the confidence that is given to us will be reduced. as we demonstrate our capabilities, we will have greater responsibilities.
Similarly, if we look at the situation, we will find that the people we trust most are those with which we share a long history, who over time have shown stability in their behaviors and attitudes and contributed to the continuity of the relationship.
Finally, we will always remember that our actions speak for us. Therefore, a person’s reputation will be critical to deciding whether to trust or not. When dealing with someone we don’t know, his reputation (what we hear from him) predisposes us to be more open or cautious.
Over time, these past events that we knew lose their value in the face of the quality of the experiences we were able to share, trust is gained through actions, and it is each other’s behavior that encourages us to consider it worthy or valuable. No.
After all, trust is a matter of who bestows it and who receives it, there is no doubt that most of us need to know each other more or less to trust him, yet there are many people whose past betrayals they avoid. them to make stronger connections.
If this is your case and you are not well you can always count on a specialist to help you assess the situation, this assessment and your intervention plan will help you find a dynamic exchange of trust that allows intimacy and makes you feel better. .