Limit personality disorder (TLP) causes a pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image and emotions that, in most cases, can be considered destructive, who suffer from it go through different seizures throughout their life, as a stressor or biological factor.
The limit disorder has been losing strength over the years, but we must not forget that, because it is a personality disorder, we are talking about something chronic that we must learn to manage.
- TPL crises are lived as an extremely difficult emotional tsunami to control.
- Impulsivity.
- Fear of helplessness or abandonment.
- And sometimes the need to self-harm.
- Are necessary factors in a person’s life without being able to do anything.
It’s like another identity has it. In fact, once after the crisis, feelings of shame and guilt arise because the person does not feel identified with what happened.
On the other hand, the environment, which does not understand what happens to an individual suffering from a TPL crisis, tries to prevent him from doing things he later regrets.
Obviously, the pain for the family member with this disorder is enormous, not only because seizures can involve verbal or physical aggressions, but because everyone knows that the person who suffers is the one with the LTLP.
If we ask several patients who have a border-limiting personality disorder what they need when they are in the midst of a crisis, we will most likely get the answer that all they need is love, understanding, and ultimately love.
When seizures occur, the person feels extremely empty, as if they lack an emotional element. Because of this feeling, he goes looking for that “piece”, even if he doesn’t do it in the most appropriate way.
Instead of asking for affection and affection in words, he does so through requests and criticisms full of anger, instability and constant dysphoria.
People may initially try to be careful and understand, reason with those who are going through this situation, etc. , but when it is verified that it will not bring results, they will most likely end up moving. Far.
This confirms the dreaded sense of abandonment of people with PLT, which increases their dysphoric emotions.
Therefore, the most sensible and recommended thing about the person’s family and friends is to offer a follow-up without judging the presence of a TLP crisis, then we will delve into this issue.
Most people with border-limiting personality disorder have grown up in environments where their emotions have not been validated, so-called debilitating environments.
This, coupled with a certain biological predisposition to the disorder, contributes to its development.
Although we cannot control the biological part, we cannot say the same about the environmental part.
As we have already said, in the midst of a TPL crisis, a person needs company without judgment, unconditional acceptance and validation of his emotions, which, paradoxically, will result in a decrease in emotional intensity and shorter seizures.
So some strategies that, as family and friends, we can put into practice to reduce the PLT crises we love may include:
The person who has a limit disorder needs unconditional acceptance, despite the suffering of the disorder, which implies that anyone who is with you will have to accept the existence of the disorder and that sometimes crises will occur, which should be called such: seizures of an illness.
In this way, when they appear, we will not give lessons to the patient, we will not be defensive or against him, on the contrary, it must be understood that this is part of the disorder and that it has a finite duration.
In the middle of a crisis, as we have already said, the person with BPD needs love, companionship, affection and empathy, for this you just have to be by their side, without judging.
If she insults us, it is not advisable to get defensive or throw it in the face. Simply express that you are by their side for anything. It’s hard to be so cold when someone we love treats us badly, but it’s the perfect way to turn off this behavior.
If we start arguing, all we can do is increase the intensity of the crisis, so the situation probably won’t end well.
The person may be reminded that this is not a problem, that DPP is self-contained, as with any other disease, will generate symptoms that the person will manifest, but that doesn’t mean they are a bad person or that it fits the symptoms of TLP. .
This helps the person feel understood and comforted, and also reduces guilt once the crisis has passed.
As there can sometimes be attempts at self-harm, which act as emotional regulators, it is important not to leave the person alone in the midst of a crisis.
In addition, if one realizes that there may indeed be attempts at mutilation or suicide, objects such as knives, pills, etc. should be removed from the person’s reach.
Giving someone love is not synonymous with overprotection. It is one thing to validate your emotions and tolerate disturbance, and another is to make the person dependent. It is positive to encourage the person to maintain their daily routine, autonomy and responsibilities.
Therefore, seizures are tolerated and understood, but the patient’s life continues as usual.
TPL seizures are not easy to manage, either by the patient or the family; emotional intensity reaches such high levels that all we want to do is escape; the patient tries to regulate himself emotionally, causing pain to himself and to the environment, moving away.
Maybe we can propose to use the reverse strategy. Instead of running away from the emotional confusion of the TLP patient, we could start hugging him. Even if it is not our will, unless at that time we want to avoid the person at all costs.
We may be surprised by the effect of hugs, which often extinguish demons and cause the person to return to himself.