What to do when an ex returns?Just as we had exorcised his name and healed our hearts, they came back as drug addicts in search of their dose of ego. They appear as cigarette sellers evoking good shared moments, idealizing a love that has never really been perfect, ideal, let alone healthy.
It seems, without a doubt, the title of a horror movie: Exes Always Come Back. However, this widely shared statement is not secure and is not true in all cases. There are all kinds of affective relationships, more or less happy, more or less mature, and with protagonists characterized by different styles of personality and behavior.
Is that the ego, him? It is desire; eliminate ego and desire and get peace?Sri Sathya Sai Baba?
There are those who return, no doubt, but also those who disappear forever, as well as the tears that once sprouted, and those who remain present in our social circle to the point of maintaining a cordial and friendly relationship. world and each world presents its own psychological “biodiversity. “
Now, among all this flora and fauna, there is a pattern that tends to repeat itself frequently, we mean the way this ex decides to go back and ruin everything, returns hungry for recognition and arrives at our door in the same way when he returns: selfishly.
Sometimes our ex-partners complain again about something they think is yours, the psychological strategies they often use to turn them into our emotional spaces are as recurrent as they are exhausting, they do not hesitate to point out that only they make us happy, that no one knows us so well or so well, and that what we lived was something irreplaceable, that we cannot ignore.
They search our psychological portals, calling us with strange sweetness, reminding us of pieces of a past that reopens wounds, infects them and deprives us of the balance that we had so costly achieved. It is often wondered that we have not put a firm end to the relationship. and that, in one way or another, by not clarifying things, we have allowed our ex-partners to return.
That’s not true. There are people who do not accept the ends, who do not live or do not allow to live and who even believe that they have the right to claim what they believe is their own, are very harmful situations, sometimes even violent, caused by Brain Mechanism as complex as it is dangerous. For example, famous authors such as anthropologist and biologist Helen Fisher say that there are people who are unable to manage and tolerate the end of the relationship.
Your brain usually shows hyperactivity in the tegumentary ventricle and nucleus accumbens, regions linked to addictions, obsessions and the reward system that is intensified by the excessive release of an important neurotransmitter: dopamine.
Sometimes we say “enough”, enough to live in a continuous noria, to live with people who are exhausting all our resources. However, although it is clear and forceful that it is all over, our former partners reclaim what they think is theirs, re-invade and spoil spaces led by an unhealthy obsession.
Sometimes our ex-partners come back when they have a hard time with their new partners, it’s very common. Just when they don’t get enough attention or when their ego reserves are in red numbers, they send a very flowery and nostalgic message when you least expect it. And sometimes we fall.
Falling into the trap is understandable, but it is not recommended to stay attached to the hook until it sinks. each other’s door to revive what we’ve already left behind. Nor is it worthy and acceptable to seek the attention of the ex-partner when we do not feel sufficiently valued in a current relationship.
Emotional terrorists exist, and exist in both sexes, to be clear, they come to us to destroy everything that was built after the end, they arrive with gift traps, with words that are traps, with two-way praise. you need to have good smell and an always up-to-date radar to detect this selfish ex rather than love, which feeds on interests rather than real affections.
Every couple is a world, we know that, and it is quite possible that the relationships we have left behind deserve a new opportunity, it is something that everyone should think of very wisely and never by impulse, however, if there is one thing to consider, is that there are doors that do not deserve to be reopened, and more importantly , there are portals that should never be crossed.
And as we did, since we tried and had an experience that left us with more marks than smiles, let’s be smart, be careful and put the lock in front of the one who only brings lies.