The girl approaches her father and says:
Dad, I can’t stand the neighbor anymore! I want to kill her, but I’m afraid I’ll be caught, can you help me with this?
The father replies
? Of course my love, but do I have any conditions?, you will have to compensate her so that no one suspects you after he dies, you will have to take good care of her, be kind, grateful, patient, affectionate, less selfish, always come back, listen more do you see this dust?Every day you put a little in the food so he dies little by little.
After 30 days, the daughter again told her father:
? I don’t want him to die anymore. I love it now?How to reduce the poisonous effect?
The father then replies
Don’t worry! What I’ve given you is powdered rice, it won’t die because the poison was in you.
When we hold a grudge, we die little by little. Let us learn to make peace with those who offend and hurt us, learn to treat others as we want them to treat us, learn to take the initiative to love, to give, to give, to serve, to give and not just to want to win and be served.
Unknown author
When someone hurts you it’s like you’re biting a snake, the wound can be more or less severe, but we can close and heal it, the worst thing is when the bite is toxic, as therapist José Antonio García points out, the most common poisons are revenge, eye for eye and the pursuit of justice at all costs.
These poisons can act for years within us, gnaw within us and cause our lives to lose joy and hope.
The grudge is human, very human. But it’s also human to forgive and make mistakes. They say the one who doesn’t love doesn’t forgive. Indeed, it is precisely love that is guilty of forgiveness; love for the other, for life, for the world and for oneself.
In other words, forgiveness, truth, does not exist if there is nothing to justify it. There may be kindness, responsibility, and indifference, all you want, but the only way to achieve it is love.
Moreover, let’s say that in a way forgiving is synonymous with being free, if there is no connection, resentment, fear and hatred towards the other, there is no justification for living in the prison of resentment.
In fact, we will only have healed our emotional wounds when we can talk about our past and our pain without shedding tears, forgiving and letting oblivion do its work.
Forgiveness does not mean that we must erase the past or that we must forget the pain. Forgiveness is to create a new way of remembering and looking at our present and our future.
Forgiveness is fundamental to achieving emotional freedom and, with it, our mental well-being, this can be very difficult, but it’s the only way to heal, let’s see how to do it next:
1. Recognize your injury and pain. This is the only thing that will allow you to distance yourself emotionally and rebuild empathy with the person who hurt you, doing so will allow you to analyze the motivations that led the person to act in this way, which will help reduce their need to blame the other and assign a specific intentionality to them.
2. Choose the option to forgive. To do this we will use the crochet metaphor.
Whoever hurt us nailed us with a hook that runs through the intestines, making us feel enormous pain, we want to give this person what he deserves, we want to make him suffer in the same way and put him on an equal footing, in an act of justice, which suffers like us, if we strive to nail the hook in him we will do knowing very well what damage has caused us and how much it hurts to be nailed to the hook in which he put us. As long as we plant the hook or try, we’ll stay on our hook, if we could stick it on the hook we’d be between that and the end, and to get out we’d have to get the person out first.
If we get ours, we’ll make sure we’re not close to the person, because he can give us the hook and, if we ever meet, it must be with the certainty that they won’t hurt us again. it is not the option not to suffer what justifies the choice, but an option based on what is desired in the long term.
3. Accept suffering and anger. It is natural that we feel angry and hurt, but the only way to stop suffering is to abandon confrontation with our emotions, feelings and thoughts.
4. Self-protection. When we analyze what happened and give way to forgiveness, we cannot forget the signs that indicate danger, so it is necessary to be very clear and present what these signals are to protect us from future damage and threats.
5. No just say “I forgive you. ” Each of our expressions can be completely empty of content. This is what usually happens, we think we forgive, but our resentment continues to feed us.
Forgiveness is something you feel. Therefore, if thoughts, emotions and feelings repeat themselves again, we must restart the whole process until we can empty the pain that threatens our character.
We must carry our memories, but not with our pain, life becomes easier if we do so.