Depression is not an easy thing. It’s not the flu, it’s not a broken leg, it’s not something you can ease with a kiss and a “I love you,” and not even with a pill. This disorder is cruel and consumes, fills the mind with anxiety, frustrates, becomes angry, makes us prefer isolation, etc. All this is very difficult for those who accompany us; on the other hand, when a couple cannot understand depression on the other, this reality can become much more difficult.
Most medical records address a reality that sometimes goes unnoticed, depression has a direct impact on the patient’s loving partner and therefore, also on the rest of the patient’s family, the difficulty is not to assume the presence of the disorder. our inability to understand and treat this type of health problem seriously.
- “There are wounds that are never seen in the body.
- That are deeper and more painful than any physical wound.
- And that even the people who love us cannot perceive them.
- “Laurell K.
- Hamilton?.
The love we have for our partner is not enough in certain situations, many times we have to deal with certain facts for which no one is prepared, for example, we see how the other person desires loneliness instead of our company, how it escapes physical contact. , or how he ceases to care about our everyday concerns and dynamics and becomes a drunken shadow that is even neglected.
When we are trapped in a psychological disorder, life loses its order, meaning and logic, if the couple does not understand our depression and is unable to move with us without pressure or judgment, the recovery process will take much longer.
The presence of a depression is like an elephant ruining everything in a house, it is also like a black hole that envelops you to take you to a strange dimension, where reality is subject to a empty report, no one is ready to understand such situations. process in which the mind functions as our worst enemy.
Thus, this condition is very severe for couples, the first thing the couple usually feel is a disagreement: the other person is no longer available in almost every way, because the symptoms of this condition contradict the very essence of any happy relationship: there is no more emotional or sexual desire, there is no more interest, much less will.
On the other hand, the companion who does not understand depression on the other will feel a very common emotion: guilt, wondering if he has done anything to make the person feel that way, customizing himself and blaming himself as the cause of a loved one’s disorder. it’s very recurrent, if reckless, behavior.
Keep in mind that, in most cases, there is no single, specific cause for such situations, however, it is a common remorse that makes supporting the other person even more difficult.
The most recurrent mistakes among couples with depression are two: the first is to blame yourself as the cause of the disorder and the second is to personalize symptoms. If the other person prefers to sleep all day rather than go for a walk, that doesn’t mean they like us less, that means they can’t get up, that anxiety weighs, that their mind has more power than their will. .
Before going into details about recommendations that can help us advise someone who is going through depression, one aspect should be highlighted. By not understanding each other’s depression, the couple may make the mistake of blaming them for being so. If that happens, something fails. Far beyond the presence of this psychological condition, there must be the maturity of someone who knows how to master any obstacle in a relationship.
A meaningful and healthy emotional connection knows how to navigate any problem, whether large, small or caused by economic, personal, emotional and, of course, health factors. We need to understand that a person with depression is not someone who has lost his ability to love us. In fact, what is lost is the ability to love oneself.
That’s when you’ll need us most, and if we’re not there, or if we’re not able to understand what’s going on, the effects caused can be quite serious.
If our partner does not understand our depression we must give him the means to do so, however, if there is no will and we feel a sense of threat and discomfort, we must make a decision, which benefits us the most.
To do this, it is essential to consider the following strategies to proceed with more caution, proximity and tact.
Finally, as we can understand, these situations are not easy for anyone, if one of the members of the couple is unable to understand the depression of the other and shows that he does not want to help him during this process, the best option in these cases is to take A decision will not be easy, but if the goal is recovery, it is necessary to get out of such a difficult and damaging environment.
On the other hand, we must strive not to reject the support of those who offer their help, redirecting it if it does not go as we would like, after all having a loving partner willing to help is a very powerful force. that we can use to our advantage to get out of this black hole.