When the passion runs out, the decline of feeling by another person is like a perfume that gradually loses its fragrance, we don’t know why, but every day laughter gets weirder and the looks stop looking and finding so often.
Knowing when it’s time to end a relationship is never easy, but acting on time and in the right way avoids emotional costs that can be very high, unnecessary, and painful.
- We could focus on this article to meet most people’s expectations.
- We could devise strategies and tricks to regain lost passion.
- Because everyone deserves a second chance.
- Because there are things worth fighting for.
- But there is an obvious fact that is observed hugely frequently in couples therapy consultations.
- Many people who end their relationship have known for more than a year that they no longer love the other person.
“A story has no beginning or end, does anyone arbitrarily choose that moment when we look back and want to look forward?. – Graham Greene-
As curious as it may seem, we see the same pattern in friendly relationships, many times we try to maintain a friendship that is not very good for a long time, however, we have chosen to move forward with these links for several reasons. which, in fact, can be summed up in one dimension: fear. We are afraid to leave something that once brought us happiness, satisfaction and well-being.
We are afraid of being alone. We are afraid to be honest. We are afraid of telling the other without anesthesia or hot rags that “I don’t want to move anymore because I don’t love you anymore. ” We are, in essence, afraid of hurting the other. person.
The world of psychology has been studying the issue of failed relationships and the decline of passion for more than three decades. Celebrities like John Gottman and Harville Hendrix have taught us ways and strategies to bridge our relationships and emotional bonds.
We have already learned during this time what to do to make love last, we know what are the precursors of the apocalypse that, according to Gottman, can anticipate a separation, or how to differentiate good relationships from those that bring only suffering.
Now there’s another obvious fact. There are relationships that die and there is no turning back or rebuilding, continuing to invest time and emotional effort makes no sense when there is no passion or spark to rekindle fire, when barriers are second to none and only distance is seen. When what’s inside is nothing but a mud that covers all the dark, uncomfortable corners.
The truth is that few sciences are as uncertain as the one that governs the world of human passions, you could say that routine is the enemy of passion, and that its kryptonite are the bad habits of those who do not like it properly, who does. I can’t take care of things and grow up alone with my belly instead of growing.
We know that these themes of the heart are not the human specialty, and that when it comes to understanding their forms, their times and their rules, we are not qualified at all. The decline of passion, however, is not just a problem of lack of understanding It just happens.
Disenchantment, disenchantment, discovering ourselves from another angle, without the headband we had before?We could give a thousand reasons and formulate a thousand new theories about why this unexpected gap occurs in our relationships; however, in most cases, this decline in passion. for someone else is not the result of things that others do or don’t do.
Often, we are the ones who end up changing, we are the ones who no longer vibrate on the same frequency, we are the ones who no longer find the motivations of the other as motivating as this.
When we talk about love, but also friendship, we do not like to be in the waiting room, nor to look for excuses to hang out and see what happens. Either you stand up for what you love or you let go immediately so as not to cause more harm. Nothing is solved magically, and passion hardly springs up on its own if we don’t make changes or make joint efforts to take the relationship to another level, to transform the bond into something new and enriching.
However, if this decline of passion is a long-standing matter, it is better to take it into account, extending the inevitable creates suffering. Does living with false hope feed? And feed the other one? A very indigestible love meal, which goes wrong and is like a contagious virus that infects the other and makes you sick too. Once you’ve done your best for a relationship, the healthiest thing you can do next is to create distance.
Passion sometimes has an uncomfortable feature of changing over time, you can’t always control this change, you don’t know where it’s going, we can’t always keep it forever in our ties with others
The important thing, however, is that it continues to appear in our ways, even in other formats, together with someone or in ourselves in solitude, but always there, present, constant and giving us life.