There are times when the impulse overwhelms us, born of that irrational and primitive part that we all have as human beings, we could make a comparison with a beast that, despite education, will tend in certain situations to act in a manner consistent with its nature, whether or not that action benefits its interests. In this way, impulses test our self-control.
The dominant impulses are at the root of countless psychological problems. Addictions or addictions can be cited as a reference, but there are also uncontrolled impulses in disorders such as bulimia or border-limiting personality disorder.
- Having impulses at a certain level in our lives is normal.
- The problem arises when this impulse takes control.
- We lose the North.
- We go blind and we act in a way that is not in line with our values.
- Our goals and our beliefs.
This can manifest itself in an emotional tension that is difficult to relieve and eventually lead us to succumb to your requests, to do what we do not want and to feel a very strong relief from tension, but we know that this relief is ephemeral, which is evaporates quickly and leads us, almost inevitably, to another feeling much deeper and more desperate : guilt and repentance.
After a while, this guilt can be forgotten, our shadows threaten to take over again, and we repeat the impulsive pattern that momentarily gratizes us and plunges us back into repentance and “I can’t, can’t I?”as a result, we are entering a powerful cycle that can end up stealing much of our biography.
We cannot be sure of the exact origin of impulses, but each of us can question ourselves, see what our life story was like, and give probability values to certain hypotheses.
Genetics can have a significant influence. If our parents are impulsive, somewhat neurotic, or emotional, it’s very likely that we’ve inherited this personality trait.
And not only do we inherit it, but we can also learn it by imitation, if we observe that problems at home have been solved with impatience and impulsiveness, we will have learned to solve adversity by following this pattern. The good news is that we can practice learning that changes what we’ve assimilated previously.
Furthermore, studies report that a lack of serotonin in the brain is responsible for the increased predisposition to being impulsive, which is why the efficacy of SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) has been observed in these disorders.
In this sense, it is necessary to take into account that the drug is limited, at first it can help inhibit, but its action will not teach the person alternative functional behaviors, in addition, the person will develop tolerance and some side effects. Effects will occur.
It seems that some emotional gaps in childhood may, to some extent, be responsible for trying to reward us with certain impulses in adult life.
By tracking past lives of people with pathological impulses, certain deficiencies in availability, affection or emotional regulation are observed. Lagoons: they are filled with immediate and intense satisfaction.
That’s when we can fall into the clutches of emotional addiction, alcohol or gambling abuse, compulsive shopping or a habit of discussing any issues that might challenge our self-esteem.
Learning to manage the impulse that dominates us is no easy task. As we said before, Impulse sometimes behaves like a beast and we already know that taming a beast is no easy task. It takes patience, willpower, but above all constant practice.
Despite all this, having full control over our impulses is unrealistic, so it’s best to reward yourself for the small achievements we get.
The first step in getting rid of the impulse is to get out of the situation that woke you up. When you get out of the situation, even for 10 or 15 minutes, you put the freedom of impulse on, you put the brakes on.
Legumes last very little time, although they are very intense, that is an advantage that we must take advantage of. The longer we can run out of impulsive acting, the greater the chances of properly resolving the situation.
You have to give him the name he has: “It’s just another one of my impulses, I don’t have to do what you tell me to do. “The secret is to dissociate your impulse from yourself, so you can see it as an enemy that wants to irritate you, not as something to do with you.
As the emotional tension decreases in intensity, it is recommended to perform another activity that entertains us and keeps our minds busy, for example, you can buy at the supermarket.
This will make you think about what you are going to buy, talk to the cashier, take your wallet, count the money, etc. , that is, worldly actions that force us to concentrate and save time. It is not recommended to change the pulse to another pulse. For example, getting out of the conflict situation and taking refuge in alcohol or tobacco is changing one impulse to another and, above all, it is unhealthy.
If I run my pulse, what will happen?Do I want to be a person who can’t control me, is this attitude in line with my values?If you know what your goal is in life and what your values are and you see you doing something you know isn’t appropriate, you’ll create a cognitive dissonance in your mind.
This dissonance is an uncomfortable mood, a “desire, but I shouldn’t,” and it’s best to prevent it from happening. Try to make everything you do in your life consistent and consistent with the goals you set as a person.
If the problem has a solution, it would not be negative to explore the alternatives that you can put in place to solve it, for this you can try using the problem solving technique, if the problem is a product of your imagination and has no solution. , it is better to classify it as such and try to ignore it.
Containing impulse is an action that must inevitably withstand a certain tension that is not exactly pleasant, it is because of that same discomfort that, in the end, the impulse dominates us, the secret is to control it, even if it causes pain or anxiety.
Anxiety or emotional discomfort are just emotions that result from chemical reactions in the brain, but do not kill or cause disasters. When you learn to tolerate them, you will find that they are short-lived and less intense.
When the urge overwhelms us, it’s easy to fall into its trap, but becoming aware of how it works is the big step in controlling our own emotions.
Once we know what is happening to us, where it comes from and how we can control it, the hardest thing will be to maintain control, with patience and high doses of acceptance of discomfort we can put ourselves above the impulse.