After several discussions with your partner and frequent disappointments, the eternal and difficult question arises: is it worth continuing this relationship or is it better to conclude the chapter?Suppose we’ve decided to continue, will it be so easy to start the zero relationship?Can everything go back to the way it was?
Finding the answer requires several factors, including the state in which our relationship is located, the intensity and participation of these discussions, and whether there is still a basis for mutual love and respect.
“Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. -Bouddha-
Most people think they know each other well. However, if this were true, they would often choose not to suffer and yet they do not. Getting to know each other well, even if it’s exciting, is a really difficult task.
How do we do it when we get angry? Do we retreat or do we attack? How do we react when we are hurt? Do we prefer to be hugged or left alone? All these questions are not trivial. If we don’t know ourselves, it is unlikely that others will know us.
If we don’t do all the activities that make us happy, the relationship suffers. When we are not satisfied, we are more irritable and will certainly put aside who is closest to us: our partner. The relationship can improve a lot just with this little analysis of ourselves. When everyone has taken time for themselves and knows what they are like and what they want, they can draw positive conclusions from the discussions.
Forgiving and moving forward in the relationship are two very different things, you can excuse the person, but stop being their partner, but when are you ready to start the relationship again?
It is a mistake to think that this new beginning means that everything will be a bed of roses, it would be like believing that a broken glass can be magically glued and returned to its original state, you need to invest time and effort to put everything back in place.
The right time to implement this idea is when the desire to change and move forward is more powerful than the pain and suffering experienced so far. So if you’re not ready to give it your all or if the balance tilts towards the “not worth it”, it’s best to leave it now.
You can only make variations in your relationship if you both assume they are part of the problem. It is important to feel that they are moving in the same direction, not each on one side.
But be careful! Claims are not effective in these cases because they create barriers between the couple. You can’t say yes at all. You will always have to draw boundaries and learn to say ‘no’. Assertiveness in this regard is as essential as a balanced distribution of power within the couple.
Do some of the decisions we make involve an implicit one?Not being able to restart the relationship from scratch. The most common mistake is not to change anything in the relationship. Letting yourself be carried away by inertia and comfort is not a good strategy in this new adventure.
Feelings of revenge are also a very dangerous poison, especially for those who want revenge. “Will I tell you the same so you can see how I feel?” Watch out! Continuing to make the other’s life impossible is not love, respect or affection, nor is it a good way to generate empathy, if that is what you want.
A couple is a team and must also be a team in difficult times, the common goal is for the couple to continue to provide very positive elements and depends on both, it is not an individual task To continue alone by?Or for the sake of our children?Just because living under the same roof doesn’t mean being a happy family, it’s only if the couple is okay that the kids are okay, never the other way around.
If you stay with your partner for fear of being alone or emotionally dependent, you condemn yourself. Happiness is in you, in yourself, and not in others; at least the state of happiness, not ephemeral happiness. It’s good to walk together, but not tied up. Internal tensions eventually exhaust us and do not allow us to enjoy the beauty of life. In any case, the decision you make should bring you happiness and encourage you to be much better at the same time.