The word? It refers to the fact that we are subject to certain conditions, limitations or restrictions imposed on us by our environment, for example, to be alive we depend on food, beverages, adequate sleep, breathing, etc.
In that sense, we are talking about basic needs, without which no one could survive, it is quite reasonable and beneficial to realize that we need and depend on certain things to stay alive.
- On the other hand.
- We have relative needs on which we do not depend.
- But preferences that improve life a little.
- However.
- Even without them.
- We could continue to live our lives normally.
For example, if I want to nail a nail to the wall, it would be foolish to say that I can’t do it without a hammer; I can nail it with another instrument, like a heavy stone. The hammer is a relative necessity, although it is more practical and comfortable than a stone.
Once this difference is understood, it is easy to extrapolate psychologically, especially when it comes to love, we believe that we need love to be happy or to survive, some studies show that we cannot say that happiness or lack of happiness in people’s lives is because they have a love or not.
If we think we need love in our lives, and especially the love of someone in particular, we end up depending on that person as if our life could not go on normally if he were not with us. Relying means being chained.
There are some clues that can help you see if it falls into the clutches of emotional dependence:
Have you idealized your partner so much that you think you are in love with that particular person? It doesn’t matter if he treats you badly or disrespects you; Over time that will change, in the depths of your being you know that it will not change, that it makes you suffer, but you are very afraid of ending this relationship and you prefer to endure the unbearable.
This person has become a necessity, you fear that it is not constantly on your side, because it means that you can lose it if you do not control where you are and what you are doing, it is like being thirsty and not finding water to drink, but unlike that, water is a real necessity.
Imagining a future without this person provokes fear. You think without this person you couldn’t be happy, you couldn’t enjoy life, you’d be alone, etc. All these thoughts are the product of the conviction that we need to love to live, however, depending on the other is not a good choice.
You no longer practice the activities you loved, you don’t make plans and you’ve stayed away from your friends, now you prefer activities that attract your partner and you’re even interested in things you never imagined might be interested in in short, you’re no longer the real person you were before, but you’ve become a copy of your partner, which in the background makes you feel empty.
If you have identified with this situation and want to get out of the “cage you have gotten yourself into”, you must face the fear of loneliness or love. The key to independence is in your pocket, use it!
Enjoy your partner’s company, but also your own business, with other people and alone. Do what you like to do, not what you have to do because you have a partner. If he accepts your change, it’ll be wonderful. However, if you don’t accept it, run away!This person is not worthy of you. You don’t need to depend on someone to be happy.