Over time, and generally without demanding much, truth prevails and idealizations rarely survive the filter of reality, the person who is supposed to respond with a certain kind of attitude or behavior is revealed as an imperfect human being, with its virtues and flaws. Defects seem to increase over time, creating situations we loved before we started to get upset.
Anyone who idealizes a person can be frustrated because the very high expectations we have at the beginning of a relationship change when we realize that we are creating a character from the person we love. As the romantic relationship develops, the idealization of the couple decreases, giving rise to a different phase of the relationship.
- In romantic relationships.
- Members can perceive love in a different way than their partner perceives.
- For example.
- One of the members of the couple may be more inclined to childish love.
- Following the principle of “I love myself because they love me”.
- On the other hand.
- The other member of the couple may be more inclined to mature love.
- Obeying the principle of “love me because I love”.
Relationships based on immature love are often made up of people who love each other because they need to get along, on the other hand, in relationships where mature love prevails, couples are needed because they love them.
As relationships progress, characteristics appear in our partner that we didn’t like before, or even liked; however, now not only do we not like it, but it also begins to annoy us. At the beginning of relationships, we try to please ourselves at all times, even leaving our own desires in the background.
Anyone who thinks that the defects that irritate are just one problem for the other is wrong, in fact there were always behaviors of our partner that bothered us, even if we did not express it at the beginning of the relationship. The couple, coupled with the desire not to cause conflict, makes us omit the details that bother or disgust us.
If everything starts to bother us, change can be more in us than in our partner. All relationships go through several stages and negative situations lead us to think, at times, that the relationship was not all we thought.
The lack of communication of the couple, frequent discussions, sexual and / or emotional problems create a fertile ground for situations that we once love and now begin to disturb us, to reverse these situations we must try to gain greater acceptance and intimacy with the person with whom we share our lives.
When there is greater acceptance, people are more willing to make the necessary changes, adapt to each other, communicate more clearly and resolve conflicts that arise in all relationships.